I just spent some quality time on the Public Domain Superheroes wiki and the number of typos, plus wrong information and off topic posting drove me dingy. Please forgive me if I take down a post from time to time to correct it.
Besides being riddled with typos, my last posting failed to explain what a Pigeon Drop actually was. I think I was plenty clear on Phishing, but that was hardly the subject. In short, a Pigeon Drop is a prize you have to pay money to win. It is not an entry fee, which would be normal for a sweepstakes or lottery, but rather a processing fee (or some other charge) for a prize you have supposedly won. Any prize you have to pay money for, or provide a service for, is no prize at all.
In a true Pigeon Drop you and someone else have found a bag of money on the street. As opposed to splitting up the money right then and there, the person you have found the money with suggests that one of you take the bag home. You will split the money up later. The person you found the money with would prefer you take home the money, but wants some sort of “good faith” payment before she/he will allow you to take it. You agree and give the person some money, but not from the bag. You take some money out of your wallet or make a withdrawal from your banking account. After you have handed off the “good faith” payment to the other person and exchanged numbers with them, you take the bag of loot home. When you get home you discover that the bag is full of funny money (or something). It turns out that the name, number and address the other person gave you was fake. It’s not the oldest trick in the book, but it is pretty close.
Soap Opera Digest update: just today I spotted a magazine devoted to Spanish soap operas on the newsstand of my local Walgreens. That was the option I didn’t mention: dubbing. There are literally hundreds of Latin soap operas still in production which could be dubbed into English and run either on cable or in low rent syndication. Trust me on this, folks: the soap opera will make a comeback. Like all forms of pulp fiction, good garbage never dies.
New American Heroes
I just saw Charlie Sheen's Comedy Central roast. Aren't roasts for old people? Or for people whose accomplishments are largely behind them? I remember the old Dean Martin roasts and the Friar's Club roasts that these were patterned after. It was always some star from the 40s or 50s being ripped by contemporaries and a smattering of stars from the 70s. It was sort of a nostalgia trip and an informal good bye to the formative portion of the subject's life's work. Mostly it played like an Irish wake with the corpse talking back.
Charlie Sheen is younger than I am. Other than Mike Tyson and William Shattner, I had no idea who the roasters were. In the original Dean Martin roasts, the people doing the roasting at least knew the subject. As opposed to an Irish wake, it came off as a pauper's funeral, with no one showing and the hired hands feeling compelled to "say something". And to think, Charlie Sheen still claims that he is winning, which brings me to...
Years later, in his 2005 book “Winning,” former General Electric Co. CEO Jack Welch held him up as a model of corporate stamina: “He showed exactly what you should show if you want to survive a merger--enthusiasm, optimism, and thoughtful support.”
I suppose I am old enough to remember when Jack Welch was considered a winner, too. (As opposed to a game player, which is what he was.) Note how he defines a model of corporate stamina. In my parlance, his definition is of a Yes Man. But I guess that's an old term.
New times call for new terms. Or maybe a more straight forward way of expressing oneself. Prehaps something like...
"There is nobody in this country who got rich on his own. Nobody.
You built a factory out there? Good for you. But I want to be clear: you moved your goods to market on the roads the rest of us paid for; you hired workers the rest of us paid to educate; you were safe in your factory because of police forces and fire forces that the rest of us paid for. You didn't have to worry that marauding bands would come and seize everything at your factory, and hire someone to protect against this, because of the work the rest of us did.
Now look, you built a factory and it turned into something terrific, or a great idea? God bless. Keep a big hunk of it. But part of the underlying social contract is you take a hunk of that and pay forward for the next kid who comes along."
That's Liz Warren, who was turned down for leadership of a new government agency the Republicans are out to slow walk the funding from. Having lost her argument with the fat heads on the Hill, she's taking it to the streets with a run for Senate. To be honest, she isn't always this blunt. Maybe if she was, she would have the job she wanted. It is my hoping that the style, if not the substance of this argument comes into vogue.
But taking it to the streets does have its down side. For example, we don't really need our own Arab Spring here. We have perfectly good methods of civil redress, either through the courts, the polls or the calling for recall elections. All of that, of course, assumes a movement with a point. This is something that the people who have been arrested on Wall Street and other financial centers don't seem to have.
While I don't like police riots, protests either have to have a point or a duration. I am sorry that these people are unemployed and basically dissatisfied with life. Been there myself, may be there myself again. But have a point. Burning down or occupying the financial centers because you are idle might make sense in Bangkok, but not here.
In a way, it seems like the flip side of the Tea Party. Or really more of the same on a less scapegoated level. On the other hand...
There were many factors that contributed to our recent financial bubble: deregulation, cheap money from the Fed, failure to enforce remaining regulations, crony capitalism, hubris, speculation, leverage, and fraud among other problems. While fraud wasn't the only issue, it was and is a significant contributor to the credit bubble. Restraining fraud is a necessary but not sufficient condition for a sound financial system. Congressional investigations in recent years have put ample evidence of fraud in the public domain.
To illustrate just one type of malicious mischief, Senator Carl Levin (D. Mich.), Chairman of a senate investigative panel, issued a memo stating that Goldman "magnified the impact of toxic mortgages." The Wall Street Journal reviewed data showing that a $38 million subprime-mortgage bond created in June 2006 was referenced in more than 30 debt pool(s) causing around $280 million in losses to investors by 2008. In other words, Goldman kept repackaging, reselling or protecting (buying credit default protection on) losers. It took the wrong kind of nerve for Goldman's CEO to say he was doing "God's work."
I stand corrected. Even if it hasn't been stated that way, that is worth going all Bangkok on. Or at the very least, throw some folks in jail. Or make what they did illegal if it wasn't already.
I have a very dear pal who always warns me that if we try to ban any financial innovation, it will just drive it off shore. Perhaps people are unaware of the many valuable ideas that Wall Street has helped fund, such as...
As the world population increases, so does per capita meat consumption, especially in places like China, where people are rapidly becoming more affluent. If the current rate of increase in meat consumption continues, the Food and Agriculture Organization of the United Nations predicts that it will double between 2000 and 2050. That's a whole lot of meat.
Fake meat could also help address a whole host of environmental concerns. We wouldn't need to use as much land for agriculture (both for raising livestock and for growing their feed). We wouldn't have to use all the water that meat production requires, or the pesticides, hormones, or other problematic additives so common in industrial agriculture.
And we could reduce the threat of animal-to-human diseases, like bird flu, E. coli, and salmonella. It would also be possible to control things like the fat, cholesterol, or calorie content of a synthetic-meat product.
Mad scientists aren't the only ones stoked about the potential for fake meat. PETA is offering a $1 million reward to whomever can produce in vitro chicken meat and make it commercially viable by June 30, 2012
See what wonderful things can happen when all sides cooperate. Isn't that sooo much better than burning down Wall Street and perhaps EATING ALL THE BANKERS, who are at least still made out of real meat? Perhaps I need my own political party. Not that it would matter since...
President Obama is the Luckiest Politician in The World!
Love him or hate him, you had best get used to him.
Late Breaking News: The Governor of New Jersey is a Fat Slob. The FACT that he is a FAT SLOB disqualifies him. All this follows on the heals of the discovery that the Governor of Texas CANNOT TALK. It has previously been hinted that Rick Perry couldn't think, but no one seemingly connected the dots to the whole SPEAKING THING. All of this most distinctly blows since Mitt Romney (a Wall Street Fat Cat made from REAL MEAT) is part of a religion that the most consistently consistent voting block within the Republican Party does not think is Christian. Like the church wherein the self ordained Mr Big they listen spout the word of God in its Fundamental English is. Whatever God Mister Obama worships is laughing his ass off.
By contrast, whatever God there is seems to have abandoned the two former publisher's of Chicago's newspapers.
Bad Guy Publishers Sink to New Lows
For those of you who haven't caught yourself some Conrad Black, he's starting to sound all Lawrence of Arabia on us. Actually its sort of Tarzan meets Lawrence of Arabia in reverse. I'm not sure if old Conrad was raped in prison, but it sure sounds like he was. He's really taken on the mantle of the wronged everyman. In his latest missives he is sounding word for word like our pulp hero writer Erle Stanley Gardner.
I would almost put him up for the Court of Last Resort (either as a member or a case to be taken up) except for one tiny detail (well, two):
He's comprehensively guilty of the crimes for which he was convicted. And he would do it again if he had the chance.
(Although he is guilty of being the male Leona Helmsley, I am talking about his actual crime.)
What his crime was: Being a sneak thief. You don't get much respect in the joint for that. Maybe Conrad "Lord Lickapuddle" Black doesn't get that? Maybe he doesn't get that what he did was a crime at all.
Here's basically how it went: You and some investors own a string of hot dog stands. You are selling your hot dog stands, one by one. Each time you sell a hot dog stand you make two side deals. One is an agreement that your partners will not open another hot dog stand anywhere near the stand you have just sold. This is a fairly standard practice. The second deal isn't. In the second deal, you personally ask for payment so that you personally will not open a hot dog stand near the one you have just sold. Your partners would not be happy with that. They would, quite rightly, think that you were undercutting their sale price by carving out a deal for yourself. In fact, if you didn't kick back some of the money you received from what was a portion of the partner's property, they may charge you with theft.
Conrad Black and his attorney might disagree. A judge and jury of Conrad's peers did not. Until Conrad "Lord of the Flies" Black gets that, then he is just another unrepentant loser who didn't like doing time.
Black, it should be said, is a fine writer and was spot on in describing his fellow Chicago newspaper publisher Sam Zell as a "slow footed asset stripper."
(Having had a smoke break or two with Sam Zell I will report that I didn't get that impression of him. But that was before he bought the Trib. He came off as something of a regular guy--albeit not a regular guy regular guy but rather a regular penny pinching small businessman regular guy.)
Zell managed not only not to sell off the Trib's assets, he actually made matters considerably worse. Having taken the firm into bankruptcy (from which it seems never to return) Zell put tail between legs and fled the venue. His latest move:
“Colombia is the next star of Latin America,” Zell said on “In the Loop” with Betty Liu. “In India, we’re doing a hotel/motel program like Residence Inn at Marriott and we hope to build a chain across the country.”
Zell, through Equity International, which he co-founded with Gary Garrabrant in 1999, has invested in real estate- related companies around the world, including in Brazil, China and Mexico. His involvement in the U.S. property market is “minimal” amid low interest rates and inflation that he estimates to be as high as 6 percent, Zell said.
Equity International’s first deal in Colombia is a $75 million investment in Bogota-based Terranum Development, a closely held real estate company, according to a statement today. Terranum is developing a 190,000-square-meter (2 million- square-foot) mixed-use complex near Bogota’s El Dorado International airport, the companies said.
Equity Office Sale
Zell, 69, sold his Equity Office Properties Trust in 2007 for $39 billion as the real estate market was peaking. U.S. commercial property prices fell as much as 49 percent from their October 2007 high after credit contracted and the economic slump boosted the unemployment rate to more than 9 percent, according to the Moody’s/REAL Commercial Property Price Index.
I would caution anyone willing to follow Zell into anything at this point. He's been on something of a losing streak. (Which his publicity machine fails to mention.)
News of the Electricar
Although I am a big rah rah of the electricar, I have started to lose heart. I haven't seen one yet. I haven't even seen a charger station. Heck, I would settle for a Prius at this point.
Yet they must exist. They're starting to get some good ink, all along the lines of:
That's why when I walked into the garage of my uber-practical friend Jane (not her real name) and saw a brand new Nissan Leaf, I was completely shocked. Her former car was a 4-year-old Lexus. The Leaf seemed to be a step down, both in size and luxury. She supports conservation but not when it interferes with her lifestyle. She spends many weekends at a place 60 miles away, so her 100-mile range wouldn't cover the round trip. This just didn't make sense.
When I gave her a doubting look, Jane said "Just drive it."
Understand, we are not car people. We drive whatever gets us there. Jane's Lexus was low maintenance and had a great GPS. I bought a used 1998 Volvo Coupe for the low price and great sound system.
But when I drove the Leaf, I felt transformed. Suddenly, I was 10 years old, riding my bicycle down a hill without a helmet. Jane turned off the pedestrian-warning beeper and the only noise was the wind and the whine of tires on pavement. I later discovered its design features -- light body materials, soft suspension and steering, double insulation, low adhesion tires and the instant acceleration of an electric motor -- sort of ET-like, suddenly you're going a whole lot faster -- all contribute to the feeling of floating on a cloud.
Why aren't the headlines about what a cool experience it is to drive an electric car? It is such a clear differentiation. Sports cars and Harley-Davidsons are all about the experience. Sure, the electric car is not for those who would miss the growl of an ICE. But fans wax on about the experience, comparing it to a ride in a corporate jet or praising its quiet peacefulness. One ardent Leaf fan called it "insanely wonderful" and told me, "It's the first thing I'm buying when my company goes public." Michael Carmichael writes in the Huffington Post that its acceleration is "...just like the Starship Enterprise."
My favorite comment of all, from the Nissan Leaf Forum: "For now I'm just cherishing the boyish wonder that my Leaf is bringing me. All the cars I owned were a mode of transportation, while the Leaf felt like a toy that I've always wanted."
Now wouldn't that make a great commercial?
Four Ideas Making The Rounds
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Bad government and bad business; and one buys the other.
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Pay-TV executives argue that people will always find ways of paying for their wares, perhaps by cutting back on cinema tickets or bottled water. That notion seems increasingly hopeful. Every month it appears more likely that the pay-TV system will break down. The era of ever-growing channel choice is coming to an end; cable and satellite distributors will begin to prune the least popular ones. They may push “best of basic” packages, offering the most desirable channels—and perhaps leaving out sport. In the most disruptive scenario, no longer unimaginable, pay-TV would become a free-for-all, with channels hawking themselves directly to consumers, perhaps sending their content over the internet. How can media firms survive in such a world?
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A significant amount of research data, including an in-depth report by the Center for Marriage and Families at the Institute for American Values, buttresses my clinical impressions that parental divorce (or failure to marry) appears to increase children's risk of dropping out of high school. Moreover, children whose parents divorce have higher rates of psychological problems and other mental illnesses. And ultimately, divorce begets divorce; i.e., when you grow up outside an intact marriage, you have a greater likelihood of having children outside a marriage or getting a divorce yourself.
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Such foregone conclusions of gloom and doom underestimate the commitment of EU member-states and, at the very least, indicate a lack of awareness about the very nature of the EU, an organic and evolving institution, which handles its challenges through collective and exhaustive deliberation, reaching decisions through consensus. While this is a long drawn process, the EU always emerges from it stronger, healthier and more defined.
Next: Either my tale of woe or more In-Bin. Aloha.
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