Wherein our commentator vents his spleen about the fine process of looking for a new apartment. A tale of woe, both self-inflicted and otherwise.
There was nothing wrong with the place I moved from. No one was shoving me out the door. I love the people I was living with. But it was time to go. I needed a bit more space. And I wanted to be closer to work.
In this pushbutton, order everything custom on line world, this should not a have been a problem. That said, I remain convinced there are at least two things which you should not purchase sight unseen over the interweb: produce and used cars. I'm still a bit up in the air about rental
housing. I am fairly sure that my ordeal should have been less bothersome than it turned out to be.
My weapon of choice was Craigslist, that final haven of the classified ad. I can't tell you how many times I had daydreamed over a Craigslist rental listing. By the time I was ready to go, I had a good feel for what was a good deal, what was a bad deal and what was average for a unit in the area I had chosen. Obviously, you can only do this sort of window shopping if you don't have a deadline. I didn't, so I took my time.
Perhaps my lack of deadline was part of the problem. Other than proximity to work, I didn't have that many 'must haves'. A one bedroom or studio (or anything at a certain price point) close to work is all I was shooting for. Dishwashers, pools, onsite social clubs, indoor parking and
whatnot just didn't mean anything to me. Which is to say that these things would be nice, but not really worth paying for. Optimally I was hoping for something low density, yet within walking distance to shopping.
Most of this I can get without even having to look for it. The average unit in my target area of Schaumburg, IL (home of the Woodfield Mall) has an oblong living/dining area off a walk in kitchen, which then adjoins a hallway leading to a bathroom and a ten by ten bedroom. Dimensions of the various spaces slide up and down, but you are talking between 450 and 600 square feet. The vast majority of these flats are clustered together with similar solid blocks
of the same. It was this average that I was in some way trying to beat, especially the clustered together part. My efforts to hone in on this prize became gummed up by two unexpected factors:
1) Beware of Two Bedroom Apartments Listed at the One Bedroom Price. This one got me every time. Each time I was sure that I was getting an apartment with spare room for a den or
something. (Or for my office, which under normal circumstances is in the place most people stick their living rooms.) In each and every case, the unit's layout consisted of an oblong and unusable space (the living room/dining area) separating two walk in closets. That these closets had closets didn't make them any less closets. Bedrooms have windows. Pantries and walk in closets do not.
And there is really no turning one into the other. My imagination became taxed in attempting to uncover the reasons for these configurations. My best guess is that none of the people currently in real estate has ever heard the word "pantry" before. Tellingly, none of these apartments listed square footage. It was fairly silly of me to think I could beat the game that way, especially when combined with...
2) My Thorough Spinelessness. So I walk into an apartment that I wouldn't visit again on a dare, look the leasing person straight in the eyes... and say "I'll take it." I then separate with 25-50 dollars to run a credit check or whatever. (Wait. I didn't want it, right?) My next call to them is to say I have been transferred out of state or am moving in with relatives or something. 9 times out of 10, the leasing person keeps my money. (I don't blame them.) I didn't know that I had this problem until it occurred. I did get over it, but not before it cost me a couple of hundred dollars and about a month's worth of time.
It is against this backdrop of stupid discovery and dismal self discovery that I came to meet a pair of men, Omar the Investor and Rex the Wonderagent. I met them both at about the same time, two months, several hundred dollars, a dozen or so visits to two pantry working man's flats and six or so fictional transfers out of state into my process. Both men are attempting to convince me
that it is possible to get more apartment for what I am prepared to pay. Again, both men were brought to me via Craigslist.
Omar claims that he has 'an apartment' for rent, that he is the owner of. He is a condo investor. Supposedly he only owns one condo--or two. Both the location and dimensions of this apartment
remain in flux for a few days. Omar's email is something like 'RentalGod' at gmail. Funny email for a guy not in the rental business.
Rex the Wonderagent is in the rental business and also has an email like 'RentalKing' at yahoo. He is actually a realator, but he's dabbling in the rental market. (For fun?) When he isn't managing his own units, Rex likes to show other people's condos. Rex has a special pipeline to bunches of condos purchased during the funny money boom which are now renting at below market rates. Or so his ad says. All I have to do is send Rex my target location and desired rent and he will rip me off a listing.
Both of these men are equally full of beans, but in different ways. Neither can actually be reached by phone after initial contact. Omar appears to be a taxi dispatcher when he's not a mogul.
Rex is the type of worker I was when I was Rex's age, which is to say that he sends me a nifty listing of condos and then goes on vacation. While I am busy not getting a hold of Rex, I am driving by the listings and whittling them down. If he ever gets back to me, I have the list trimmed to two that I am hot on. But Rex does not get back to me.
Omar responds first, having decided what apartment it is that he actually owns and would like to show to me. I would blame part of our communications issues on a language barrier, but
that really wasn't as big of an issue as Omar liked to play it off as. I understood, with effort, what it was Omar was saying. The problem was with what he said, which often could be read as "I have an apartment that I own and am showing for a friend who is an investor which I myself was going to live in back when I thought that my wife and I were going to separate but then I found another one which is more suitable because the previous tenant had to be let out of his lease because he lost his job that I am showing you now." If he spent as much time screening tenants as he did at (bungled) efforts to keep his story straight, he would have been far ahead of the game. I had the resources to check him out and he was legit--as in he owned a bunch of condos. The rest of his story was not designed for my consumption. I think.
Regardless, Omar's flat is gorgeous. (And it is his--I checked.) It's three blocks from work. He has it priced two hundred dollars below what other units in this building are going for. And it came with an indoor parking spot, although one more suited to a billiards expert than to a person of my admittedly limited parking prowess. I am instantly in full spineless part with cash mode--and this time I mean it, I think. Even in retrospect, I can think of no reason that I would have wanted to
back out of it.
Omar is equally enthusiastic, saying "Yes, it is very nice. I was able to rent it out within a day of
placing it on the Craigslist after getting the other renter out of it because he lost his job."
Huh? I ask "You mean you have rented it out already? Or are you renting it out to me?"
"I have the lease signed on this unit, but I have another in this building. They have not given me the security deposit as yet. This is the unit that I am showing. The other one is not ready yet because my cousin is still in it because he may get a divorce."
From what I could make out, it meant I was in second place to whomever this unit had been rented to already. Omar hadn't seen these people. It seems his cousin had closed the deal on this
place and Omar was trying to undo it. He wanted to make sure he had a prospect (me) before he bothered to make the effort. It really was a nice place. Nice enough for me to not think about what it would be like to have a dingbat like Omar for a landlord.
My takeaway was that I had nothing. The drama would continue in Omar's mind and in his emails and voicemails to me for some time. Mostly Omar was in despair because his cousin had rented to people who now were paying the security deposit in pieces--in change and with third party checks. I did feel for him. Sadly, it seems he had essentially accepted the lease and there wasn't much he could do.
While Omar may or may not have been attempting to squirm out of renting to these Appalachian teenagers, he was also attempting to perhaps get me into the unit his cousin was in. Maybe out of
vengeance. My interest waned the moment Rex got back in touch with me.
I had found another Wonderagent and was about to give her a call. It had only been a month of numerous unanswered phone calls since last we spoke. Rex does not apologize. He was on
vacation. Had a nice time, too. And by the way all of the condos he sent me have been rented, except one. Am I interested in seeing it or not?
It was one of the ones on my list, one that I have driven past a few times. I tell him yes and then he blows me off. The next week we actual see it.
This coincides with Omar telling me that I can have the apartment that he showed me. He just has to shag the kids out of it. "It will be no problem. I am telling them that I am showing the apartment to you. While you are there, you can ask them when they are leaving." Joy of joys. I swear I never offered my services as anything to Omar. What makes him think such a stunt would work is beyond me.
Rex's condo, as it should turn out, is also gorgeous. Actually, it's not. The building's exterior and grounds are exceptionally well maintained. There's a gardener with a good eye at work. And the grounds were spotless. That made up for the unit itself, which was oblong and very small. It was also about three hundred dollars under market. This was a bit less space than I wanted, but for the price and the nice setting, it would do.
I would have gone into my "I'll take it here let me give you some money" dance, but Rex the Wonderagent KNEW NOTHING. He got through the door. That was about it. He didn't know who
owned it or who the actual manager was or really anything. But he would get back to me.
I then found this same unit listed twice more, once as a sublet and once as a condo for sale. I frankly could have bought the thing flat out. From what I tracked, it had been for sale for about
three years. The rental was a little under what the mortgage payment would have been. I was tempted to contact the actual selling agent. And I told Rex this, thinking the prospect of a sale might garner me a little more of his attention. Ha.
Both Rex and Omar are RentalGod's vengeance against me for leaving so many pantry leasers hanging.
Omar then gets back to me to let me know that I can move in now if I can get him the security deposit today. And then he calls and says that the unit is rented and that this is final but he
will keep me in mind if his cousin does move out.
Rex stops talking to me again for two weeks.
And I go back to Craigslist. I find a unit within walking distance of work. It is what is known as an 'In-law Apartment'. The very pleasant woman renting this unit is even so nice as to send me a floor plan. This floor plan makes it look as if this is a suite of adjoining rooms at the rear of someone's house. It features a large bedroom, an equally large den, a private entrance, a second exit to the yard, an eat in kitchen with an adjoining bathroom. It would sort of be like being a half of a
house owner. For the same price as the average apartment. What a deal.
Sadly, the drawing was not at all to scale. And the apartment was not really all that separate from the rest of the house. The kitchen was quite ample, but it was part of the basement. The
bedroom was half of the garage. The room between made the walk in closets I had been turning down seem ample. And there was no private entrance--that was inside their garage. (And I could not have cable TV or the internet, for mysterious reasons which were stated emphatically. To top this off, my prospective landlords showed up drunk.I told them I had to talk to someone before I could give them a commitment. But they were very enthusiastic about having me as a tenant. (They basically wanted to give me the run of their whole house--something they probably would not remember once sober.) It was good for a laugh but basically a waste of time.
Omar again. Am I still interested? New tenants attempting to pay rent with third party checks. Wants to know if that is legal. What is this? When in doubt, ask a middle aged white man? (For
bonus points, I have a Jewish sounding last name.) I make the mistake of returning Omar's call. I tell him he needs to look up eviction on Google. I did not know the name of an attorney who could help him.
Rex is now no longer answering emails. I move onto the next rental agent, this one referred to me by a pal. Although she seems highly energetic, and has been a demonstrable big help to my pal, she really only deals in housing in Des Plaines. It costs me a week to find this out. Onto rental agent three, who wants $75.00 upfront plus a prescreen credit check. Fine. I fax her my stuff and make an appointment.
One hour later I find a townhouse on Craigslist that is two feet away from work. It's literally behind the office building I work in, on one of those garden paths that surround the ponds and
the running track. The asking price is $400.00 under market and just at my strike price.
I email my interest to the listing party and they get back to me almost instantly, giving me the unit's number and particulars. I check it out at lunch and everything is more or less what it
seems. It's a second floor townhouse end unit, just over a garage. The neighborhood is all new construction. A number of people from my work are renting units here, but for the most part this is an ownership neighborhood.
Something was a little off about the place. It seemed well lived in, long term occupied. (Relatively speaking, given that the entire development was under three years old.) I did a little
checking and what I found led me to believe it wasn't the type of place that would be for rent. (Purchased two years ago by owners in their 50s who did not own other properties. Non transient types.) But I sent back an "I'll take it" email nonetheless.
And I got this:
No, this was not Omar again nor any of his relatives. And it wasn't a God-struck sub-literate missionary either. Rather, this was an elaborately worded (pretexted) Pigeon Drop. Our
poster is some dude in an net cafe somewhere in the developing world. His intention is to get me to separate with the security deposit and first month's rent. In return, I will receive a set of dummy keys and a fake rental agreement. It wasn't really as badly researched as it seems. The usual target
rental locations for these schemes are units which have been put into foreclosure. There was one just down the block--and it was a three bedroom unit.
Our poster had transposed the address.
Being clued into these sort of things, I contacted the Schaumburg police.
"Yeah, well it was on Craigslist and everything on Craigslist is a lie" the non emergency police
operator informed me.
That's fine. The problem is that this unit is occupied. If someone was not as informed as I am--
"--We get these all the time. We don't have time to do anything about it."
I'm not sure what I expected. (Perhaps the police might want to inform the home owner of this? There has been more than one news story about people attempting to move into places under
similar circumstances.) Maybe I sound like a dweeb? I certainly didn't expect the operator to bum rush me off the phone. Strike one against actually living in Schaumburg. (There would be more.)
I took the initiative to copy the Craigslist ad and walked it over to the townhouse in question. And I placed it on the door of the nearby foreclosed unit. I left my business card and a short note behind with both. So much for my good deed for the day.
Rex's good deed for the next day was actually getting back in contact with me. This time he has no explanation, other than to request that I send him an application which he intends to forward to the agent who is actually showing the place. End of Rex.
Rex actually has the right office, but the wrong agent. I got the correct agent's name off the sale listing. With hunting, I get her email address. Rex has sent the wrong agent numerous
requests for half of the finder's fee, but has failed to forward my application. I forward my application.
I have now been looking for an apartment in earnest since April. April has turned to August and August is now waning. I have nothing. I am ready to walk to McComplex and just take the
average unit and call it a day. I have lost.
The new agent, whom I will call Audry, is nowhere near as unresponsive as Rex. She is however, sloppy. She at one point forwards me an email wherein Rex complains that the rental game is
more work than selling houses, but all he can do until the market clears up. At the top of this email chain is a request from Audry to me for a $50.00 credit check. She adds that there are three other people interested. Moreover she needs it pronto, in cash and in her office.
I postpone my meeting with the $75.00 for her time agent and use the time to drive to Audry's rather remote office. Audry was a dishwater blonde bombshell dressed for a cocktail party. I
had heard of these 'glam lifestyle' people before, but had never seen one in the flesh. Presentable, she had down. Informative, not so much. I mentioned that I had seen the unit was for sale and asked if it was still at the listed price.
"You just want to rent it, right? This is about renting it."
"I might be willing to buy it. Can they budge on the price? I would have a hard time getting a mortgage with the current loan to value." (That couches the fact that I could not get a mortgage based on the condo's value at all. The mortgage I can qualify for was based on my ability to pay exclusively.) I gave her an offer about 5 grand short of my top.
"It's not for sale. They are going to rent it."
"I understand it has been on the market for three years."
"They're going to take it off the market."
"So it's not for sale now?"
"No. They're renting it."
Obviously, I was getting nowhere.
Maybe Audry was just the rental lady and not the sales lady? (That turned out not to be true. She had been attempting to sell it, but had so given up in her mind that she could not change modes.) She and Rex were both proof positive that when the money leaves an industry--as it has the real estate market--so do all of the good people.
I handed her the fifty dollars and my assorted paperwork and left.
And... nothing. The next day I meet with the $75.00 for her time lady and she runs overtime with her previous appointment, consuming the entirety of my lunch hour. I read her magazines
while she was talking with someone else on the phone. Just as I was about to leave, she asks if I know Audry. It turns out that is who she has been consuming my appointment talking on the phone with. Her, Audry and Rex are fighting over the finder's fee for a condo $75.00 for her time lady has had on the market for three years. It could have been a coincidence. I don't care. I
leave without accepting another time for an appointment and with the check for
$75.00 in my pocket.
"Now she says she has someone who wants to buy it! Snort!"
Omar calls on the way back. I can move in immediately. He has changed the locks and there is some damage to the unit, but he will give me a discount on the first month's rent.
Just as I am about to leave work, I hit up Craigslist again. I fill out another form for another agent who claims to have magic condo listings. On the page down from this, I spot another listing for a condo in Schaumburg. And then I spot a listing for a sunny, spacious apartment just a little out of my target area. I make phone calls. I leave messages.
There are some pretty nice places in downtown Arlington Heights, I recall. Maybe I would do better going off a For Rent sign? As opposed to driving home, I tour Arlington Heights looking for
signs. Plenty of houses and condos are for sale, but no rentals. I pass by the apartment Rex showed me and spot a For Rent sign on a nearby building. I get out of the car and copy down the number. It seems familiar.
It's Rex's. I am in hell.
Next Monday I start my work day with an email from Audry. It's to Rex, but emailed to me. In it Rex and Audry go back and forth about what losers renters are in general. The prospects for
the unit I wanted are particularly dreadful. (I am also a loser, it is implied. I am, however, the pick of the litter.) In closing, Audry advises Rex to "Tell your 'winner' that the apartment is his, pending approval from the board."
Since I am not sure what this means, I phone Audry and ask. She explains "Rex was supposed to email you the form. It needs to be notarized."
"Email it to me, please," I ask. "I have a notary here. I'll drive it back to you."
Another lunch-free lunch trip follows. Audry is in another cocktail dress. In the glam lifestyle, it's all hallucinating all of the time. IPhone pressed to her ear, she advises me that the condo owners will email me the lease. If the board approves me.
I am not holding my breath, but so little has gone right that I am unwilling to slam any doors closed. I still think I have nothing.
Both of the people I contacted about their units have gotten back to me. One is just down the street from work, the other is in the neighborhood of Arlington Heights that I drove through. I have tentative appointments to see both. The one down the block from work is owned by a local couple. The one in Arlington Heights is a management company.
The woman who got back to me about the rental in Schaumburg is especially nice. Her and her husband own the entire building. They've just put the listing up and they haven't cleaned it as yet. I
make it a point to drive by that unit when I go home.
Having a good landlord is important. This has a good vibe. Unfortunately, the neighborhood is no prize. It's congested, block after block of apartments. There's no green space and people are hanging out in the parking lot. (There really is nothing else in Schaumburg, which is strike two against it.) On the other hand, it is really close to work and, for bonus points, directly adjacent to a sprawl of strip malls featuring no less than two dozen restaurants. For a kitchen-adverse person such as myself, that's a big big plus. If this apartment turns out to be just McApartment on the inside, I'll take it.
Next morning I have another email from Audry. I have been accepted by the board. (That was fast.) Rex will forward me the lease. (I am doomed.) I email Audry and ask if she can send the lease to me. She gives the landlord my address and says they will email it.
It does seem as if I am making progress, but I am going to see the unit in Schaumburg, anyway. I have already determined that the renting party is the owner. The couple did, if fact, own
the entire building. My last little checking bit, which I had failed to do, was to plug the address into Google. Once I had a free moment, I did.
Typing in the address caused Google to spit out:
AXE MURDER IN SCHAUMBURG
An expletive left my face.
"Man, you are just having no luck," the guy in the cube behind me said.
A two hundred pound teen-aged girl had plunged an axe into the back of the head of an elderly fellow resident of the place during a robbery attempt. (*2) The girl then fled into her second floor
unit and hid behind her mother when the police came. The police arrested the girl--and her mother, who seems to have forcibly obstructed justice. The victim was struck at the first floor interior mailbox and found, axe still in head, in the parking slot beside the front door. Nice. (Strike three for Schaumburg.)
I am going to still take a look at the unit. If the landlord tells me about this little incident, I might be swayed. The lady seemed that nice. (I am that desperate and/or stupid.)
As it turns out, the landlords were exceptionally pleasant and forthright folks. They didn't do their own repairs, they had folks on call. They said all of the right things. The unit was about $100 overpriced for what it was, which is on the par for Schaumburg. Everything about it was cheap, from the fixtures to the carpet--which had the compulsory odd stain in its beige medium shag. For bonus points, it was the actual murder scene. The mailboxes were right outside the door. My assigned parking place was right where the man had been found.
I did ask if there had been any trouble in the neighborhood. They both quickly said no and went on to say how they were on the complex's social committee. There were all sorts of "neighborhood-building" events that they were hoping to sponsor. All of which is to say that they were nice folks, but not saints.
I did manage to not upchuck an "I'll take it" this time. I did have the unit in Arlington Heights
still to look at that evening. And, my paranoia aside, it seemed that I already had a place.
The morning after seeing both units I get an email from Rex's landlords; seemingly a Polish couple. Theywere very happy to have a nice upstanding member of society such as myself
moving in soon. Please be sure to move in only using the back door. Enclosed
was a copy of the lease, which their attorney has drawn up.
The lease was thirty-eight pages,enough to paper the bedroom and bathroom. I am professionally a paralegal.Specifically, I am an asset paralegal, familiar with all forms of lease and
sale instruments, from supertankers to swampland. Been at it twenty-plus years. I had never seen anything like it in my life.
The lease wasn't written by a lawyer. (Most leases are just boilerplate, even for specialized equipment.)This lease was written by someone l who knows enough to read this stuff but isn't grounded enough to draft it. What wasn't mis-drafted was just curious. Highlights of the lease included:
The landlord wishes to indemnify themselves against any problems with the unit's plumbing. Any problems with the plumbing or heating system MUST BE REPAIRED by the tenant at the time they notice the malfunction. The tenant is not to affect repairs himself, but to contract a licensed professional to conduct the repairs. Moreover, the tenant is responsible for any additional damage that the failure to repair either the heating or plumbing might cause. Failure to repair either the heating or the plumbing in a timely manner terminates the lease, without notification to the tenant. Any funds spent by the tenant on the repair of the plumbing or heating may not be withheld from rental payments. The landlord will reimburse the tenant for repairs, provided that they are deemed reasonable and are not a result of the tenant's use or misbehavior.
The landlord will continue to show the unit to prospective buyers. This will be done with reasonable notice. In the event that the unit is sold, the tenant is to vacate the unit within two
weeks of notice.
If at any time the tenant or the unit's address are mentioned in a police report of any kind, the lease is ended. If an arrest of any person should happen at the address, the lease is terminated. The lease may be terminated if the landlord should determine, at his sole discretion, that the tenant is involved in illegal or immoral activity.
Should the unit become uninhabitable for any reason, this does not end the lease. All payments are to be made on a timely basis for the full term of the lease. Months will be added to the lease to cover the time that the unit is not habitable.
The clinker: If the landlord determines that the unit is not being kept up correctly or is in need of repair,the landlord will hold aside portions of the rent paid and add it to the security deposit. If the tenant fails to pay additional rent to cover the security deposit increase, the lease is terminated and the tenant is to be considered in arrears.
Now, whoever wrote this masterpiece realized towards the end that he was treading on some very thin ice and added a line about how in whatever places this lease might violate Illinois state law, state law predominates. Duh.
About no part of this thing was legal. I did hand it to the attorney in my office for snicks.
His response: "Run. Either they are inept or they have larceny in their hearts. In either case, that's not what you want."
I called Audry and told her no deal. Having already given Rex his share of the finder's fee, she was frantic. I explained, tersely, what was wrong with the agreement.
"I hate it when people do that," she said, meaning draft their own leases. "They have had
problems with previous tenants."
I assured her I would sign any boilerplate she could get them to agree to. She said she would get back to me. Technically I am still waiting.
Given how bad things were going, I might have signed some modified form of this agreement. The landlords did email me to explain, in thrilling broken English, that they had a real problem with
the last tenant. They were just trying to protect their investment. In return I explained to them, tersely, that I wouldn't sign a 38 page rental agreement even there wasn't anything wrong with it. I came thisclose to telling them whomever wrote it was a nut case. Instead, I just said it wasn't a legal agreement and that they should have Audry fax them one. It seems they decided to go with the next 'winner' on Audry's list.
So, there you have it. Four months plus of searching... and nothing. Actually the end came faster than I thought it would. The place is Arlington Heights turned out to be swell--right in the
neighborhood that I had been looking at. I was the first person to see the place and could not help but reflex out an "I'll take it." I was ready, too. I handed the manager all of my paperwork and wrote him out a check for the credit thing. I even handed him the credit check Audry had run. A day later the place was mine. Boom.
Except for the loss of what we in role playing game terminology call "Sanity Points", all's well that
ends well. I have been here a few months and have yet to log a real regret. Given what happened last time, I don't want to leave anytime soon. (I would never leave, but my situation may be changing in the mid term future. That may be a topic for a post many, many moons from now.)
(1) This community does all of its own maintenance. That was a big clue that our scammer could not actually see the unit he was using as bait. Other than screwing up the address, he had described the unit correctly. Oddly, the unit I saw was what was described in the advertisement. It suddenly changed into a three bedroom when they got back to me.
(2) I have changed the incident in question somewhat. Whatever the crime was had taken place a few months before.
There was nothing wrong with the place I moved from. No one was shoving me out the door. I love the people I was living with. But it was time to go. I needed a bit more space. And I wanted to be closer to work.
In this pushbutton, order everything custom on line world, this should not a have been a problem. That said, I remain convinced there are at least two things which you should not purchase sight unseen over the interweb: produce and used cars. I'm still a bit up in the air about rental
housing. I am fairly sure that my ordeal should have been less bothersome than it turned out to be.
My weapon of choice was Craigslist, that final haven of the classified ad. I can't tell you how many times I had daydreamed over a Craigslist rental listing. By the time I was ready to go, I had a good feel for what was a good deal, what was a bad deal and what was average for a unit in the area I had chosen. Obviously, you can only do this sort of window shopping if you don't have a deadline. I didn't, so I took my time.
Perhaps my lack of deadline was part of the problem. Other than proximity to work, I didn't have that many 'must haves'. A one bedroom or studio (or anything at a certain price point) close to work is all I was shooting for. Dishwashers, pools, onsite social clubs, indoor parking and
whatnot just didn't mean anything to me. Which is to say that these things would be nice, but not really worth paying for. Optimally I was hoping for something low density, yet within walking distance to shopping.
Most of this I can get without even having to look for it. The average unit in my target area of Schaumburg, IL (home of the Woodfield Mall) has an oblong living/dining area off a walk in kitchen, which then adjoins a hallway leading to a bathroom and a ten by ten bedroom. Dimensions of the various spaces slide up and down, but you are talking between 450 and 600 square feet. The vast majority of these flats are clustered together with similar solid blocks
of the same. It was this average that I was in some way trying to beat, especially the clustered together part. My efforts to hone in on this prize became gummed up by two unexpected factors:
1) Beware of Two Bedroom Apartments Listed at the One Bedroom Price. This one got me every time. Each time I was sure that I was getting an apartment with spare room for a den or
something. (Or for my office, which under normal circumstances is in the place most people stick their living rooms.) In each and every case, the unit's layout consisted of an oblong and unusable space (the living room/dining area) separating two walk in closets. That these closets had closets didn't make them any less closets. Bedrooms have windows. Pantries and walk in closets do not.
And there is really no turning one into the other. My imagination became taxed in attempting to uncover the reasons for these configurations. My best guess is that none of the people currently in real estate has ever heard the word "pantry" before. Tellingly, none of these apartments listed square footage. It was fairly silly of me to think I could beat the game that way, especially when combined with...
2) My Thorough Spinelessness. So I walk into an apartment that I wouldn't visit again on a dare, look the leasing person straight in the eyes... and say "I'll take it." I then separate with 25-50 dollars to run a credit check or whatever. (Wait. I didn't want it, right?) My next call to them is to say I have been transferred out of state or am moving in with relatives or something. 9 times out of 10, the leasing person keeps my money. (I don't blame them.) I didn't know that I had this problem until it occurred. I did get over it, but not before it cost me a couple of hundred dollars and about a month's worth of time.
It is against this backdrop of stupid discovery and dismal self discovery that I came to meet a pair of men, Omar the Investor and Rex the Wonderagent. I met them both at about the same time, two months, several hundred dollars, a dozen or so visits to two pantry working man's flats and six or so fictional transfers out of state into my process. Both men are attempting to convince me
that it is possible to get more apartment for what I am prepared to pay. Again, both men were brought to me via Craigslist.
Omar claims that he has 'an apartment' for rent, that he is the owner of. He is a condo investor. Supposedly he only owns one condo--or two. Both the location and dimensions of this apartment
remain in flux for a few days. Omar's email is something like 'RentalGod' at gmail. Funny email for a guy not in the rental business.
Rex the Wonderagent is in the rental business and also has an email like 'RentalKing' at yahoo. He is actually a realator, but he's dabbling in the rental market. (For fun?) When he isn't managing his own units, Rex likes to show other people's condos. Rex has a special pipeline to bunches of condos purchased during the funny money boom which are now renting at below market rates. Or so his ad says. All I have to do is send Rex my target location and desired rent and he will rip me off a listing.
Both of these men are equally full of beans, but in different ways. Neither can actually be reached by phone after initial contact. Omar appears to be a taxi dispatcher when he's not a mogul.
Rex is the type of worker I was when I was Rex's age, which is to say that he sends me a nifty listing of condos and then goes on vacation. While I am busy not getting a hold of Rex, I am driving by the listings and whittling them down. If he ever gets back to me, I have the list trimmed to two that I am hot on. But Rex does not get back to me.
Omar responds first, having decided what apartment it is that he actually owns and would like to show to me. I would blame part of our communications issues on a language barrier, but
that really wasn't as big of an issue as Omar liked to play it off as. I understood, with effort, what it was Omar was saying. The problem was with what he said, which often could be read as "I have an apartment that I own and am showing for a friend who is an investor which I myself was going to live in back when I thought that my wife and I were going to separate but then I found another one which is more suitable because the previous tenant had to be let out of his lease because he lost his job that I am showing you now." If he spent as much time screening tenants as he did at (bungled) efforts to keep his story straight, he would have been far ahead of the game. I had the resources to check him out and he was legit--as in he owned a bunch of condos. The rest of his story was not designed for my consumption. I think.
Regardless, Omar's flat is gorgeous. (And it is his--I checked.) It's three blocks from work. He has it priced two hundred dollars below what other units in this building are going for. And it came with an indoor parking spot, although one more suited to a billiards expert than to a person of my admittedly limited parking prowess. I am instantly in full spineless part with cash mode--and this time I mean it, I think. Even in retrospect, I can think of no reason that I would have wanted to
back out of it.
Omar is equally enthusiastic, saying "Yes, it is very nice. I was able to rent it out within a day of
placing it on the Craigslist after getting the other renter out of it because he lost his job."
Huh? I ask "You mean you have rented it out already? Or are you renting it out to me?"
"I have the lease signed on this unit, but I have another in this building. They have not given me the security deposit as yet. This is the unit that I am showing. The other one is not ready yet because my cousin is still in it because he may get a divorce."
From what I could make out, it meant I was in second place to whomever this unit had been rented to already. Omar hadn't seen these people. It seems his cousin had closed the deal on this
place and Omar was trying to undo it. He wanted to make sure he had a prospect (me) before he bothered to make the effort. It really was a nice place. Nice enough for me to not think about what it would be like to have a dingbat like Omar for a landlord.
My takeaway was that I had nothing. The drama would continue in Omar's mind and in his emails and voicemails to me for some time. Mostly Omar was in despair because his cousin had rented to people who now were paying the security deposit in pieces--in change and with third party checks. I did feel for him. Sadly, it seems he had essentially accepted the lease and there wasn't much he could do.
While Omar may or may not have been attempting to squirm out of renting to these Appalachian teenagers, he was also attempting to perhaps get me into the unit his cousin was in. Maybe out of
vengeance. My interest waned the moment Rex got back in touch with me.
I had found another Wonderagent and was about to give her a call. It had only been a month of numerous unanswered phone calls since last we spoke. Rex does not apologize. He was on
vacation. Had a nice time, too. And by the way all of the condos he sent me have been rented, except one. Am I interested in seeing it or not?
It was one of the ones on my list, one that I have driven past a few times. I tell him yes and then he blows me off. The next week we actual see it.
This coincides with Omar telling me that I can have the apartment that he showed me. He just has to shag the kids out of it. "It will be no problem. I am telling them that I am showing the apartment to you. While you are there, you can ask them when they are leaving." Joy of joys. I swear I never offered my services as anything to Omar. What makes him think such a stunt would work is beyond me.
Rex's condo, as it should turn out, is also gorgeous. Actually, it's not. The building's exterior and grounds are exceptionally well maintained. There's a gardener with a good eye at work. And the grounds were spotless. That made up for the unit itself, which was oblong and very small. It was also about three hundred dollars under market. This was a bit less space than I wanted, but for the price and the nice setting, it would do.
I would have gone into my "I'll take it here let me give you some money" dance, but Rex the Wonderagent KNEW NOTHING. He got through the door. That was about it. He didn't know who
owned it or who the actual manager was or really anything. But he would get back to me.
I then found this same unit listed twice more, once as a sublet and once as a condo for sale. I frankly could have bought the thing flat out. From what I tracked, it had been for sale for about
three years. The rental was a little under what the mortgage payment would have been. I was tempted to contact the actual selling agent. And I told Rex this, thinking the prospect of a sale might garner me a little more of his attention. Ha.
Both Rex and Omar are RentalGod's vengeance against me for leaving so many pantry leasers hanging.
Omar then gets back to me to let me know that I can move in now if I can get him the security deposit today. And then he calls and says that the unit is rented and that this is final but he
will keep me in mind if his cousin does move out.
Rex stops talking to me again for two weeks.
And I go back to Craigslist. I find a unit within walking distance of work. It is what is known as an 'In-law Apartment'. The very pleasant woman renting this unit is even so nice as to send me a floor plan. This floor plan makes it look as if this is a suite of adjoining rooms at the rear of someone's house. It features a large bedroom, an equally large den, a private entrance, a second exit to the yard, an eat in kitchen with an adjoining bathroom. It would sort of be like being a half of a
house owner. For the same price as the average apartment. What a deal.
Sadly, the drawing was not at all to scale. And the apartment was not really all that separate from the rest of the house. The kitchen was quite ample, but it was part of the basement. The
bedroom was half of the garage. The room between made the walk in closets I had been turning down seem ample. And there was no private entrance--that was inside their garage. (And I could not have cable TV or the internet, for mysterious reasons which were stated emphatically. To top this off, my prospective landlords showed up drunk.I told them I had to talk to someone before I could give them a commitment. But they were very enthusiastic about having me as a tenant. (They basically wanted to give me the run of their whole house--something they probably would not remember once sober.) It was good for a laugh but basically a waste of time.
Omar again. Am I still interested? New tenants attempting to pay rent with third party checks. Wants to know if that is legal. What is this? When in doubt, ask a middle aged white man? (For
bonus points, I have a Jewish sounding last name.) I make the mistake of returning Omar's call. I tell him he needs to look up eviction on Google. I did not know the name of an attorney who could help him.
Rex is now no longer answering emails. I move onto the next rental agent, this one referred to me by a pal. Although she seems highly energetic, and has been a demonstrable big help to my pal, she really only deals in housing in Des Plaines. It costs me a week to find this out. Onto rental agent three, who wants $75.00 upfront plus a prescreen credit check. Fine. I fax her my stuff and make an appointment.
One hour later I find a townhouse on Craigslist that is two feet away from work. It's literally behind the office building I work in, on one of those garden paths that surround the ponds and
the running track. The asking price is $400.00 under market and just at my strike price.
I email my interest to the listing party and they get back to me almost instantly, giving me the unit's number and particulars. I check it out at lunch and everything is more or less what it
seems. It's a second floor townhouse end unit, just over a garage. The neighborhood is all new construction. A number of people from my work are renting units here, but for the most part this is an ownership neighborhood.
Something was a little off about the place. It seemed well lived in, long term occupied. (Relatively speaking, given that the entire development was under three years old.) I did a little
checking and what I found led me to believe it wasn't the type of place that would be for rent. (Purchased two years ago by owners in their 50s who did not own other properties. Non transient types.) But I sent back an "I'll take it" email nonetheless.
And I got this:
Hello,
God bless you for your interest about my House, how are you doing today? I hope all is well.
The House is a 3bedroom. Which My wife and I occupied before leaving for West Africa. We left on a self Mission following God's Call to Preach the Word and Let people of all Nations Hear About Him. My wife and I thought of ourselves and asked God what we would Give him and He says we should sacrifice our life and give him the best we can, letting humans know about him. The bible account of Luke 12:29-31, Don't seek what you will eat or what you will drink; neither be anxious. For the nations of the world seek after all of these things, but your Father knows that you
need these things. But seek God's Kingdom, and all these things will be added to you. We decided to do the missionary work.
I would also like you to know that my Wife and I have spent so much time and money to maintain it up till its standard. (*1) We have been trying our best to make the house as clean as possible, because am a clean person and we don't like dirt around our surroundings and also the Bible says cleanliness is next to Godliness.
So we are looking for a well-behaved, clean and honest tenant to rent out our house too. So we will like you to give us your word and promise us that you will take good care of our house so that we will be happy when we come to visit you in the future. We would like to work any flexible plan you have on term of renting. Long or short term or month by month. While we were leaving, we took along with us the keys just to view the Land if it would be favorable for God's Work, on getting down here we decided to stay and Go On preaching the Good News. The Home was Formally FOR SALE but we have decided not to sell anymore so that we would lay our head when we do come back to rest. We shall be staying for upwards of five years here doing God's Work. So kindly Get back to us with the application form below...
...Looking forward to hear from you with all this details so that i can have it in my file in case of issuing the receipt for you and contacting you. Await your urgent reply so that we can discuss on how to get the document and the key to you, please we are giving you all this base on trust and again i will want you stick to your words, you know that, we do not see yet and only putting everything into Gods hand, so please do not let us down in this our property and God bless you more as you do this. Looking forward to hear from you.
Thanks and Remain Blessed
No, this was not Omar again nor any of his relatives. And it wasn't a God-struck sub-literate missionary either. Rather, this was an elaborately worded (pretexted) Pigeon Drop. Our
poster is some dude in an net cafe somewhere in the developing world. His intention is to get me to separate with the security deposit and first month's rent. In return, I will receive a set of dummy keys and a fake rental agreement. It wasn't really as badly researched as it seems. The usual target
rental locations for these schemes are units which have been put into foreclosure. There was one just down the block--and it was a three bedroom unit.
Our poster had transposed the address.
Being clued into these sort of things, I contacted the Schaumburg police.
"Yeah, well it was on Craigslist and everything on Craigslist is a lie" the non emergency police
operator informed me.
That's fine. The problem is that this unit is occupied. If someone was not as informed as I am--
"--We get these all the time. We don't have time to do anything about it."
I'm not sure what I expected. (Perhaps the police might want to inform the home owner of this? There has been more than one news story about people attempting to move into places under
similar circumstances.) Maybe I sound like a dweeb? I certainly didn't expect the operator to bum rush me off the phone. Strike one against actually living in Schaumburg. (There would be more.)
I took the initiative to copy the Craigslist ad and walked it over to the townhouse in question. And I placed it on the door of the nearby foreclosed unit. I left my business card and a short note behind with both. So much for my good deed for the day.
Rex's good deed for the next day was actually getting back in contact with me. This time he has no explanation, other than to request that I send him an application which he intends to forward to the agent who is actually showing the place. End of Rex.
Rex actually has the right office, but the wrong agent. I got the correct agent's name off the sale listing. With hunting, I get her email address. Rex has sent the wrong agent numerous
requests for half of the finder's fee, but has failed to forward my application. I forward my application.
I have now been looking for an apartment in earnest since April. April has turned to August and August is now waning. I have nothing. I am ready to walk to McComplex and just take the
average unit and call it a day. I have lost.
The new agent, whom I will call Audry, is nowhere near as unresponsive as Rex. She is however, sloppy. She at one point forwards me an email wherein Rex complains that the rental game is
more work than selling houses, but all he can do until the market clears up. At the top of this email chain is a request from Audry to me for a $50.00 credit check. She adds that there are three other people interested. Moreover she needs it pronto, in cash and in her office.
I postpone my meeting with the $75.00 for her time agent and use the time to drive to Audry's rather remote office. Audry was a dishwater blonde bombshell dressed for a cocktail party. I
had heard of these 'glam lifestyle' people before, but had never seen one in the flesh. Presentable, she had down. Informative, not so much. I mentioned that I had seen the unit was for sale and asked if it was still at the listed price.
"You just want to rent it, right? This is about renting it."
"I might be willing to buy it. Can they budge on the price? I would have a hard time getting a mortgage with the current loan to value." (That couches the fact that I could not get a mortgage based on the condo's value at all. The mortgage I can qualify for was based on my ability to pay exclusively.) I gave her an offer about 5 grand short of my top.
"It's not for sale. They are going to rent it."
"I understand it has been on the market for three years."
"They're going to take it off the market."
"So it's not for sale now?"
"No. They're renting it."
Obviously, I was getting nowhere.
Maybe Audry was just the rental lady and not the sales lady? (That turned out not to be true. She had been attempting to sell it, but had so given up in her mind that she could not change modes.) She and Rex were both proof positive that when the money leaves an industry--as it has the real estate market--so do all of the good people.
I handed her the fifty dollars and my assorted paperwork and left.
And... nothing. The next day I meet with the $75.00 for her time lady and she runs overtime with her previous appointment, consuming the entirety of my lunch hour. I read her magazines
while she was talking with someone else on the phone. Just as I was about to leave, she asks if I know Audry. It turns out that is who she has been consuming my appointment talking on the phone with. Her, Audry and Rex are fighting over the finder's fee for a condo $75.00 for her time lady has had on the market for three years. It could have been a coincidence. I don't care. I
leave without accepting another time for an appointment and with the check for
$75.00 in my pocket.
"Now she says she has someone who wants to buy it! Snort!"
Omar calls on the way back. I can move in immediately. He has changed the locks and there is some damage to the unit, but he will give me a discount on the first month's rent.
Just as I am about to leave work, I hit up Craigslist again. I fill out another form for another agent who claims to have magic condo listings. On the page down from this, I spot another listing for a condo in Schaumburg. And then I spot a listing for a sunny, spacious apartment just a little out of my target area. I make phone calls. I leave messages.
There are some pretty nice places in downtown Arlington Heights, I recall. Maybe I would do better going off a For Rent sign? As opposed to driving home, I tour Arlington Heights looking for
signs. Plenty of houses and condos are for sale, but no rentals. I pass by the apartment Rex showed me and spot a For Rent sign on a nearby building. I get out of the car and copy down the number. It seems familiar.
It's Rex's. I am in hell.
Next Monday I start my work day with an email from Audry. It's to Rex, but emailed to me. In it Rex and Audry go back and forth about what losers renters are in general. The prospects for
the unit I wanted are particularly dreadful. (I am also a loser, it is implied. I am, however, the pick of the litter.) In closing, Audry advises Rex to "Tell your 'winner' that the apartment is his, pending approval from the board."
Since I am not sure what this means, I phone Audry and ask. She explains "Rex was supposed to email you the form. It needs to be notarized."
"Email it to me, please," I ask. "I have a notary here. I'll drive it back to you."
Another lunch-free lunch trip follows. Audry is in another cocktail dress. In the glam lifestyle, it's all hallucinating all of the time. IPhone pressed to her ear, she advises me that the condo owners will email me the lease. If the board approves me.
I am not holding my breath, but so little has gone right that I am unwilling to slam any doors closed. I still think I have nothing.
Both of the people I contacted about their units have gotten back to me. One is just down the street from work, the other is in the neighborhood of Arlington Heights that I drove through. I have tentative appointments to see both. The one down the block from work is owned by a local couple. The one in Arlington Heights is a management company.
The woman who got back to me about the rental in Schaumburg is especially nice. Her and her husband own the entire building. They've just put the listing up and they haven't cleaned it as yet. I
make it a point to drive by that unit when I go home.
Having a good landlord is important. This has a good vibe. Unfortunately, the neighborhood is no prize. It's congested, block after block of apartments. There's no green space and people are hanging out in the parking lot. (There really is nothing else in Schaumburg, which is strike two against it.) On the other hand, it is really close to work and, for bonus points, directly adjacent to a sprawl of strip malls featuring no less than two dozen restaurants. For a kitchen-adverse person such as myself, that's a big big plus. If this apartment turns out to be just McApartment on the inside, I'll take it.
Next morning I have another email from Audry. I have been accepted by the board. (That was fast.) Rex will forward me the lease. (I am doomed.) I email Audry and ask if she can send the lease to me. She gives the landlord my address and says they will email it.
It does seem as if I am making progress, but I am going to see the unit in Schaumburg, anyway. I have already determined that the renting party is the owner. The couple did, if fact, own
the entire building. My last little checking bit, which I had failed to do, was to plug the address into Google. Once I had a free moment, I did.
Typing in the address caused Google to spit out:
AXE MURDER IN SCHAUMBURG
An expletive left my face.
"Man, you are just having no luck," the guy in the cube behind me said.
A two hundred pound teen-aged girl had plunged an axe into the back of the head of an elderly fellow resident of the place during a robbery attempt. (*2) The girl then fled into her second floor
unit and hid behind her mother when the police came. The police arrested the girl--and her mother, who seems to have forcibly obstructed justice. The victim was struck at the first floor interior mailbox and found, axe still in head, in the parking slot beside the front door. Nice. (Strike three for Schaumburg.)
I am going to still take a look at the unit. If the landlord tells me about this little incident, I might be swayed. The lady seemed that nice. (I am that desperate and/or stupid.)
As it turns out, the landlords were exceptionally pleasant and forthright folks. They didn't do their own repairs, they had folks on call. They said all of the right things. The unit was about $100 overpriced for what it was, which is on the par for Schaumburg. Everything about it was cheap, from the fixtures to the carpet--which had the compulsory odd stain in its beige medium shag. For bonus points, it was the actual murder scene. The mailboxes were right outside the door. My assigned parking place was right where the man had been found.
I did ask if there had been any trouble in the neighborhood. They both quickly said no and went on to say how they were on the complex's social committee. There were all sorts of "neighborhood-building" events that they were hoping to sponsor. All of which is to say that they were nice folks, but not saints.
I did manage to not upchuck an "I'll take it" this time. I did have the unit in Arlington Heights
still to look at that evening. And, my paranoia aside, it seemed that I already had a place.
The morning after seeing both units I get an email from Rex's landlords; seemingly a Polish couple. Theywere very happy to have a nice upstanding member of society such as myself
moving in soon. Please be sure to move in only using the back door. Enclosed
was a copy of the lease, which their attorney has drawn up.
The lease was thirty-eight pages,enough to paper the bedroom and bathroom. I am professionally a paralegal.Specifically, I am an asset paralegal, familiar with all forms of lease and
sale instruments, from supertankers to swampland. Been at it twenty-plus years. I had never seen anything like it in my life.
The lease wasn't written by a lawyer. (Most leases are just boilerplate, even for specialized equipment.)This lease was written by someone l who knows enough to read this stuff but isn't grounded enough to draft it. What wasn't mis-drafted was just curious. Highlights of the lease included:
The landlord wishes to indemnify themselves against any problems with the unit's plumbing. Any problems with the plumbing or heating system MUST BE REPAIRED by the tenant at the time they notice the malfunction. The tenant is not to affect repairs himself, but to contract a licensed professional to conduct the repairs. Moreover, the tenant is responsible for any additional damage that the failure to repair either the heating or plumbing might cause. Failure to repair either the heating or the plumbing in a timely manner terminates the lease, without notification to the tenant. Any funds spent by the tenant on the repair of the plumbing or heating may not be withheld from rental payments. The landlord will reimburse the tenant for repairs, provided that they are deemed reasonable and are not a result of the tenant's use or misbehavior.
The landlord will continue to show the unit to prospective buyers. This will be done with reasonable notice. In the event that the unit is sold, the tenant is to vacate the unit within two
weeks of notice.
If at any time the tenant or the unit's address are mentioned in a police report of any kind, the lease is ended. If an arrest of any person should happen at the address, the lease is terminated. The lease may be terminated if the landlord should determine, at his sole discretion, that the tenant is involved in illegal or immoral activity.
Should the unit become uninhabitable for any reason, this does not end the lease. All payments are to be made on a timely basis for the full term of the lease. Months will be added to the lease to cover the time that the unit is not habitable.
The clinker: If the landlord determines that the unit is not being kept up correctly or is in need of repair,the landlord will hold aside portions of the rent paid and add it to the security deposit. If the tenant fails to pay additional rent to cover the security deposit increase, the lease is terminated and the tenant is to be considered in arrears.
Now, whoever wrote this masterpiece realized towards the end that he was treading on some very thin ice and added a line about how in whatever places this lease might violate Illinois state law, state law predominates. Duh.
About no part of this thing was legal. I did hand it to the attorney in my office for snicks.
His response: "Run. Either they are inept or they have larceny in their hearts. In either case, that's not what you want."
I called Audry and told her no deal. Having already given Rex his share of the finder's fee, she was frantic. I explained, tersely, what was wrong with the agreement.
"I hate it when people do that," she said, meaning draft their own leases. "They have had
problems with previous tenants."
I assured her I would sign any boilerplate she could get them to agree to. She said she would get back to me. Technically I am still waiting.
Given how bad things were going, I might have signed some modified form of this agreement. The landlords did email me to explain, in thrilling broken English, that they had a real problem with
the last tenant. They were just trying to protect their investment. In return I explained to them, tersely, that I wouldn't sign a 38 page rental agreement even there wasn't anything wrong with it. I came thisclose to telling them whomever wrote it was a nut case. Instead, I just said it wasn't a legal agreement and that they should have Audry fax them one. It seems they decided to go with the next 'winner' on Audry's list.
So, there you have it. Four months plus of searching... and nothing. Actually the end came faster than I thought it would. The place is Arlington Heights turned out to be swell--right in the
neighborhood that I had been looking at. I was the first person to see the place and could not help but reflex out an "I'll take it." I was ready, too. I handed the manager all of my paperwork and wrote him out a check for the credit thing. I even handed him the credit check Audry had run. A day later the place was mine. Boom.
Except for the loss of what we in role playing game terminology call "Sanity Points", all's well that
ends well. I have been here a few months and have yet to log a real regret. Given what happened last time, I don't want to leave anytime soon. (I would never leave, but my situation may be changing in the mid term future. That may be a topic for a post many, many moons from now.)
(1) This community does all of its own maintenance. That was a big clue that our scammer could not actually see the unit he was using as bait. Other than screwing up the address, he had described the unit correctly. Oddly, the unit I saw was what was described in the advertisement. It suddenly changed into a three bedroom when they got back to me.
(2) I have changed the incident in question somewhat. Whatever the crime was had taken place a few months before.
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