Millions in My Mailbox

The Con Artists and Fraudsters Won't Stop---And Neither Will I!

For some reason these guys like to act in spurts. Perhaps there is some sort of Scam Season that I am unaware of? Neither of tonight's examples are all that clever. It seems the Postmaster General and the various other authorities have better things to do than shut these putzes down, so I must plug on. Both of our examples are illegal on several levels. One of them appears to be a back door Mystery Dunning scam.

Our first example is from veteran fraudsters Emerson Publishing of Dallas, Texas posing (as usual) as the oh-so-official-sounding Sweepstakes Audit Bureau.

Since I've covered Emerson before, I'll go light on what is wrong with this presentation. Pretending to be either a government agency or a chartered auditor when you ain't in your mailings should get you some time in the pokey. And doing so in a mailing is MAIL FRAUD, in a just universe netting the perp some quality butt cheese making time in a FEDERAL SLAM.

You know, I was in Dallas not so long ago and was tempted to pop in on the folks at Emerson, just to see what their little operation was like. (I do have its address.) I somewhat doubt the folks at Emerson are making a fortune at this. It's a dishonest living, but it's hardly a gold mine.

The people at Emerson do not have twelve million dollars nor do they really know anyone who has. They are not offering twelve million nor any amount of money. What they have is a list of other people who are running contests that you might qualify for. The only qualification that they seem to glean for is that the contests not involve a purchase of any kind. (Most don't.) How many contests Emerson has actually researched or what the other qualifications might be, Emerson isn't all that clear about. In fact, you have to read Emerson's very humorous fine print to figure out that they actually don't run a contest at all. If the report were all so fired good, that's what they would be advertising. Instead, the report is in the fine print, mentioned as the product that they will send you in return for your money. So not only are they not running a contest, they also aren't entering you in one. It's all pue deception.

By the by, this time Emerson's fine print states that the contests they have reports on "ARE GUARANTEED TO EXCEED $5,000,000.00 IN VALUE." (All caps emphasis is theirs. For some reason Emerson likes to bombast up the fine print.) So where is the substantiation for the $12,000,000.00 number stated on the front of the page? Pulled from the ethers, it seems.

As I mentioned the last few times, five bucks may not be the only thing Emerson is trolling for. I was at one time contacted by a person claiming to be a border control agent who said I had winnings matching what Emerson had sent me in their offer. He seemingly wanted a finders fee. So be warned.

Joining our rouge's gallery of mail swindlers is ITD Benefits Guide parading as the fictional Prize Entry Directives Center and Grand Prize Sweepstakes XII. Unlike Emerson, they are claiming to run a sweepstakes or game of some kind. The claim is that this award is backed by an annuity currently valued at $1,200,000.00. But don't get your hopes up.

The more time I spent with Jerome Cunningham's deft prose, the more I became convinced that not a word of it was true. Jerry, or whomever is behind this, displays a certain lack of education that is hard to fake. I also doubt whomever's sanity. The whole thing is a dumb person's idea of a devious masterpiece.

It has a certain cut and pasted quality to it, which they go to town with in the fine print. Even a glance read at the fine print would put off the average person. Since the fine print is so oddball, I'll present it for you. If you can shoot this up to a readable font, it's quite amusing. For those of you who don't have the time, I will highlight the better parts.

I think young Jerome and his pals are in little danger of this scam working Although they've done some nice workshopping on the fine print, none of them seems to have an ear for copy writing. The part of this that I am supposed to understand, does not make any sense. Are they entering me in a contest or signing me up for a discount program for the (required) $5.95? And it's not all that clear if I am entering a contest by sending in the handy form. Heck, it's even unclear who I make the check out to, should I be so brain damaged/inclined.

The Fabulous Contest. What? Doesn't "Grand Prize Sweepstakes XII" sound legit? It certainly didn't win the imagination grand prize, except in terms of rules. On February 28, 2013 or some other time, a third party will use a computer to create a random number. If your returned entry matches that number, you win. If no one matches this number, no one wins. You see, the numbers issued have nothing to do with the numbers created, therefore it would technically be possible for the numbers issued to not be within the range of the numbers to be drawn. But that would be cheating. As with most unmatched sweepstakes, which are like the lotto, there is a very strong probability of the number never having been issued in the first place. Most sweepstakes will draw from numbers actually issued. Those that don't are basically crap, non contests, scams. In any case, there is a very high probability of no one winning. Publisher's Clearinghouse is at least worth a stamp to enter. This isn't worth a stamp, much less $5.95.

Given how this is worded, the actual cash paid for this annuity could be as little as $40.00. If it exists at all, the annuity is a conditional insurance policy against some rather improbable circumstances. Our perp also goes into sidewinding syntax, absolving himself of the need to pay out under any circumstance.  The contest is so much smoke.

What this is: is a backdoor attempt to take you for $19.95 per month. Printed on the coupon and on the fine print is an bank authorization to deduct that sum from your account every month--or whenever he wants to. What you are getting for this $19.95 (or 67 cents a day) is not very well defined. It could be anything from sending you more promotional offers (from cruise ship lines) to selling your name and address to yodeling out the window. What he does take great pains to define--stupidly and without a shred of legal standing--is the degree to which you are holding him harmless and cannot sue him and are only entitled to as much of a refund as he feels like sending you. Why is he asking for a check for $5.95 when he intends to charge you $19.95? At the very least, by entering this contest, you are handing Jerome and his pals a copy of your signature. My advice is to pass the whole thing by.

No on the up and up business would engage in this form of promotion.

The vast majority of sweepstakes are legit. Those that are not follow the patterns seen above. Both Emerson and ITD promise a pay off in funds and then deliver another product. This is clear deception and NOT AT ALL LEGAL. Thankfully most banks are no longer honoring automatic draft agreements. As the cost of mailing continues to climb, I predict we will see less and less of these deceptive appeals.