My Super Duck Submission (Fiction--sort of)

Over fourteen months ago I sent Archie Comics a short submission package. Enclosed with my script was your standard issue SASE.  I expected nothing more than this SASE returned to me, stuffed with  the standard NO THANK YOU note, printed on one half of a photocopy. This is the baseline remuneration that Godless Hacks such as myself are entitled. I will settle for nothing less.

Please keep in mind that the "script", such as it is, involves two properties that Archie has not used for years--nor have they ever expressed any interest in reviving. The characters, Super Duck and Captain Sprocket, exist only in the fading memories of aging morons such as myself. So my chances of anything happening with said "script", other than the wasting of valuable underpaid editorial time, was just about zilcho. Moreover, no one asked me to send it to them.

Before we go on, here's the one page gag I sent in addition to the script.

One Page Gag Sequence
 Above frames banner: Earth’s Favorite Super Sidekicks Captain Sprocket and Super Duck

Frame One

Scene Description: Interior of a run down apartment. Captain Sprocket is standing and holding a cell phone. Super Duck is sitting, working on a computer.

Blurb (Captain Spocket): I’m ordering Chinese food. Want some?

Blurb (Super Duck): Sure!

Frame Two

Scene Description: Cap talking on cell phone as Super Duck gets up to leave.

Blurb (Captain Comet): Hi! I would like the pork egg rolls and an order of Peking duck.

Frame Three

Scene Description: Super Duck hurls a brick, smashing it on Captain Spocket’s head. Sprocket let’s loose of cell phone.

 Frame Four

Scene Description: Captain Sprocket standing with lump on head. Super Duck standing nearby. Broken brick and cell phone on floor.

Blurb (Captain Sprocket): You hit me with a brick!

Blurb (Super Duck): No, I didn't. You have no evidence!

Frame Five

Scene Description: Captain Sprocket talking. Super Duck picking up phone from floor.

Blurb (Captain Sprocket): There’s a lump on my head. There’s a brick on the floor.

Blurb (Super Duck): I can hardly trust a witness who admits he was just struck on the head with a brick!

Final Frame Six

Scene Description: Captain Sprocket looking about. Super Duck talking on cell phone.

Blurb (Captain Spocket): Where did you get the brick from?

Blurb (Super Duck) Hi! Cancel that order. We’ll take the tofu egg rolls, instead. 

Humor is, of course, a matter of taste. There are any number of reasons Archie might take a pass on this masterpiece--my misspelling Sprocket in the second frame being only one of them. And then there's the audience to consider. The audience for Archie is elderly gay men and girls between the ages of 8 and 12. (Entirely my conjecture. I used to read them and I have never been in either group.) In any case, Archie has never really been as big on slapstick as they are on sight gags. So I very clearly might have missed my mark here. And having missed my mark with a one page gag sequence, it might inspire the underpaid, overworked low man on the totem pole who has to open the mail to not read my other script. That's always the chance you take.

For those of you who do feel sporting, here it is:

Captain Sprocket and Super Duck Story

Character Descriptions

Super Duck: An anthropomorphic white duck. Text indicates that he is wearing lederhosen, which is per the character’s original design.

Captain Sprocket: A big foot type superhero wearing orange tights, red shorts, red cape and red boots. Has a cog design on chest. This is per the character’s design in Mad House.

Other cast members can be drawn from the Archie gang or be rendered as characters created for this story. They are identified in this manuscript by the names used in the story.

Witch: Either a not ugly witch or Veronica in a witch outfit.

Wizard: Jughead or a wizard type from central casting.

Town guards: various Archie cast members or dark ages warrior types.

Sir Good: Moose, Archie or some big warrior type.

Mindless Minions: various Archie cast members or robed monk-like goons who act as th wizard’s henchmen.

The Ticked Off Investor (appears on last page only): Either Veronica’s father or someone like him.    

Setting Details

The town Captain Sprocket and Super Duck have crashed their spaceship near is a dark ages walled village, complete with castle and tower. It is near a swampy jungle with volcanoes in the distance. Everything in town should look like it is made of bamboo.

Story Billing:

The story could potentially be billed as ‘Archie Theater Presents’ or as ‘Earth’s Greatest Super Sidekicks Captain Sprocket and Super Duck’ in ‘Cosmic Crash Crisis Double Trouble’.

Lay Out:

I am using your typical 6 frames per page. Each manuscript page equals one comics page. 

Frame One Page One

Scene Description: Interior of a spaceship travelling in space. A planet is displayed out of the front portal/windshield. Captain Sprocket and Super Duck are operating the ship.

Top text box: While searching for the Lost Space City of Gold, Captain Sprocket and his faithful companion Super Duck have become lost in space.

Blurb (Super Duck) Yikes! A planet!

Blurb (Captain Sprocket) That’s impossible! I took all the planets without gold off of the space map.*

Bottom text box:*Note to Young Space Travelers: Taking items off the navigational map is a bad idea.

Frame Two Page One

Scene Description: Super Duck frantically working the ship’s controls as Captain Sprocket rants

Blurb (Super Duck) Ak! We’re crashing! Mayday! Mayday!

Blurb (Captain Sprocket) If only we knew where we were! If only we had someone to call! If only we had any friends! If only we had any money!

Bottom text box: Note to Investors in the Lost Space City of Gold partnership. The subject Lost Space City of Gold only theoretically exists in outer space. In reality, it only exists in our prospectus sales literature. No refunds!

Frame Three Page One

Scene Description: Super Duck frantically working the ship’s controls as Captain Sprocket opens the hatch of a crash proof chamber (explained in text)

Blurb (Captain Sprocket) Lucky I invested in this disaster proof life preserving chamber!

Thought Blurb (Captain Sprocket) Too bad there’s only room for one.

Blurb (Super Duck) Hardly a vote of confidence in my landing skills.

Frame Four Page One

Scene Description: Flaming spaceship swooping over a dark ages town, in silhouette. Blurbs come from below.

Blurb: Look! Up in the sky!

Blurb: It’s an omen!

Blurb: It’s a prophesy!

Blurb: It’s on fire and it’s headed this way!

(Dialog can be split between this and the next frame)

Frame Five Page One

Scene Description: Spaceship cleaving off a castle’s tower. Ship continues flight away. Town is on fire in background.

Blurb: It’s struck the witch’s tower! We’re free!

Blurb: The town is on fire!

Frame Six Page One

Scene Description: Witch climbing out of the wreckage of her tower. Has been doused with a bucket of water from a guard.

                        

Blurb (Witch): I’m not dead and I’m not on fire!

Blurb (Town guard) How come you’re not melting?

Blurb (Witch) Wrong witch!

Frame One Page Two

Scene Description: Witch talking with a group of guards. A smashed town wall and line of burning swamp show in the background. It’s obvious which direction the ship has crashed in.

Blurb (Witch); I declare this revolution over! Now, put out those fires! Once we’re done, we’ll fix whoever did this,

Blurb (Witch) They shouldn’t be too hard to find.

Frame Two Page Two

Scene Description: Inside the ship. Interior is charred. Super Duck is charred and holding broken off controls in his hands. Ship’s windshield is broken. Captain Sprocket is popping out of his chamber.

Top text box: Meanwhile

Blurb (Captain Sprocket) We’ve landed! We’re alive!

Blurb (Super Duck) Wherever we are, I hope they take checks. Or empty promises.

(Dialog can be combined. Captain Sprocket could say both parts. ‘Meanwhile’ does not have to be a full box. It could just be a word floating in a clear section at the top of the frame.)

Frame Three Page Two.

Scene Description: Super Duck looking over the ship’s controls as Captain Sprocket turns a hatch hoop in the ceiling.

Blurb (Super Duck) The good news is that all of our systems are fine. The bad news is that all of the things that tell them what to do are shot.

Blurb (Captain Sprocket to Super Duck) You’ve looked better. 

Frame Four Page Two

Scene Description: Captain Sprocket standing on top of spaceship. Super Duck coming out of hatch to join him.

Thought Blurb (Super Duck) Cinders wash off. Stupid does not.

Blurb (Captain Sprocket) There’s air here. That’s a good sign. Maybe we can find some spare parts here?

Frame Five Page Two

Scene Description: Captain Sprocket and Super Duck talking while on top of spaceship.

Blurb (Super Duck) Parts! We’d be lucky if they had the tools to make our parts! Or the materials!

Blurb (Captain Sprocket)We’re on a roll here. Don’t jinx it. 

Frame Six Page Two

Scene Description: Captain Sprocket and Super Duck talking while on top of spaceship.

Blurb (Super Duck) A roll! We just turned a gazillion dollar spaceship into fifty tons of smoking  swamp litter! We’ll be lucky to find food!

Blurb (Captain Sprocket) You’re jinxing it!

Page Three Art Note: There should be some details in these scenes showing that there is a town (the one they crashed into) on one side of the swamp and an ominous tower on the other side

Frame One Page Three

Scene Description: Super Duck ranting as Captain Sprocket looks on. They are on top of the space ship.

Blurb (Captain Sprocket) Do you feel something?

Blurb (Super Duck) I feel burnt. Burnt on every level I can feel burnt on. I feel sorry-- sorry that I ever met you.

Frame Two Page Three

Scene Description: Super Duck ranting as Captain Sprocket looks on. They are on top of the space ship.

Blurb (Captain Sprocket) I meant with your feet.

Blurb (Super Duck) My feet! I have hands. Sort of. You have real hands. What are you doing feeling stuff with your feet?

Frame Three Page Three

Scene Description: Spaceship gets slurped into the swamp. Captain Sprocket and Super Duck jump off in opposite directions

Top Text Box: Suddenly, but perhaps not unexpectedly, the fifty ton ship is sucked into the swamp’s deep soggy muck.

Frame Four Page Three

Scene Description: Underwater Captain Sprocket digging a tunnel at super speed.

Top Text Box: Having sunk like a stone, the mighty Captain Sprocket finds the pond’s edge and begins digging a tunnel to the surface.

Thought Blurb (Captian Sprocket) Poor Super Duck. He’s probably downed.

Frame Five Page Three

Scene Description: Super Duck swimming like a duck.

Blurb (Super Duck—seemingly to the reader) I am a duck. It’s never come in handy before, but, as a duck, water is no problem for me. I would dive after the Captain, but I don’t know where he is. Or care if he lives or dies.

(“Or care if he lives or dies” could be a separate blurb, if the composition has room.)

Frame Six Page Three

Scene Description: Super Duck on shore, parting reeds to walk through. He is pointing a thumb over his shoulder.

Blurb (Super Duck) I did try to teach the Captain to swim, but he didn’t get it.* Sadly, I also was unable to tell him about what sort of reception we are likely to get from the natives here. Since town is that way, I will head this way.

Bottom Text Box: *If a duck tried to teach you how to swim like a duck, you wouldn’t get it, either.

 Frame One Page Four

Scene Description: A black tower in the swamp. Has a telescope on top, which is directed downward.

Top Text Box: Unfortunately our feathered hero is heading in the direction of this ominous edifice. It’s less than a mile away. Super Duck is only three feet tall and cannot see it through the reeds. The rhythm of the universe is thus restored: Being a duck is not so handy.

Frame Two Page Four

Scene Description: Detail of an eye peering through the telescope. Ranting blurbs come from the tower.

Blurb (Wizard—unattributed, from the tower) The time has come at last. Our enemies are now laid low. Years of cursing has finally paid off. 

Frame Three Page Four

Scene Description: Tower’s interior. A Mindless Minion is now looking through the scope. The wizard is standing beside him. Another mindless minion is nearby.

Blurb (Mindless Minion A) It looks like the town was hit by a giant aerofoil.

Blurb (Wizard) It was my cursing, I tell you.

Blurb (Mindless Minion B) Or an asteroid.

Blurb (Wizard) My cursing. I’m certain. 

Frame Four Page Four

Scene Description: Interior of tower. Minions seem to be placing food and clothing into boxes.

Blurb (Wizard) What are you people doing?

Blurb (Mindless Minion A) Gathering clothes, food and firewood.

Blurb (Mindless Minion B) Yeah, the town is in trouble. They may need help. 

Frame Five and Frame Six Combined Page Four

Scene Description: Interior of tower. Minions seem to be placing food and clothing into boxes.

Blurb (Wizard) Stop that! The time has come for us to resume the mantle of my leadership. It was I who first claimed lordship, after having sent the swamp beast packing with my Wand of Returning. Then the witch brought the swamp beast back in a tame form and deposed me. Then Sir Good dismissed the monster and deposed the witch. Then the witch had Sir Good thrown in jail.

Blurb (Mindless Minion A) Any way you cut it, you’re in third place.

Blurb (Mindless Minion B) You know, there are worse things than exile.

Blurb (Mindless Minion C)  Why do we want to get in the middle of this again?

Frame One and Frame Two Page Five are combined. 

Scene Description: Interior of tower. Minions hurling food and clothing at Wizard as Wizard rants.

Blurb (Mindless Minion A) Why do we want the town, now that it’s burnt down?

Blurb (Mindless Minion B) Claiming credit for burning the place down isn’t going to make us too popular.

Blurb (Mindless Minion C)  And it’s hardly the basis of a Good Government movement.

Blurb (Wizard) Enough! Never squander a good disaster. Now fetch me my helm of rulership and my war chariot!

Page Five Art Note: Scenes of the town should show it smoking and in various states of being repaired.

 

Frame Three Page Five

Scene Description: Witch on the roof of a house, nailing a patch into the roof.

Top Text Box: Back in town.

Blurb (Guard calling from below) Sir Good has broken free from jail!

Blurb (Witch to guard) Tell him to lock himself back up. I have enough problems right now.

Frame Four Page Five

Scene Description: Witch on the roof of a house talking down at Sir Good, who is brandishing an odd looking pole-arm.

Blurb (Sir Good): It is I, Sir Good, with my Rod of Banishment. Come down here so I can thwart you.

Thought Blurb (Witch) How lazy can you get?

Frame Five Page Five

Scene Description: Witch on roof talking down to Sir Good on ground.

Blurb (Witch) Look, your rod-ship, why don’t you prove yourself and thwart whoever burnt the town down?

Blurb (Sir Good): That would get me some street cred. Right now I’m just an escaped convict.

Frame Six Page Five

Scene Description: Witch going back to nailing in roof patch as Sir Good heads off.

Blurb (Sir Good) I’ll be right back!

Blurb (Witch) I’ll be right here, mending things. It’s what I do.

Page Six Art Note: The wizard’s tower is in a clearing surrounded by tall reeds.

Frame One Page Six

Scene description: Outside of the wizard’s tower. Mindless Minions are searching the weedy grounds.

Top Text Box: Back At the Wizard’s tower.

Blurb (Mindless Minion A); Found the Wizards hat!

Blurb (Mundless Minion B) Make sure to break out the shields and helms.

Blurb (Mindless Minion C) Take along sensible shoes. The kind you can run in.

Frame Two Page Six

Scene Description: Super Duck coming through the reeds as a Mindless Minion closes in. Neither see each other as yet.

Blurb (Mindless Minion A) Anyone remember where we put the wizard’s cart?

Thought Blurb (Super Duck) Eek! A creature! One whose history and culture I cannot know.

Frame Three Page Six

Scene Description: A surprised Minion A coming across Super Duck as Minions B & C converge into view.

Top Text Box: Super Duck flips on his translation belt.

Blurb(Mindless Minion A) What manner of being are you?

Thought Blurb (Super Duck) They’re probably as scared of me as I am of them. Better play it straight.

 

Frame Four Page Six

Scene Description: Minions crowding around Super Duck

Blurb (Super Duck) It’s seldom come in handy, but I’m a duck.

Blurb (Mindless Minion A) A duck!

Blurb (Mindless Minion B) That’s wonderful!

Blurb (Mindless Minion C) Ducks are delicious!

Bottom Text Box: Space Traveler’s Notebook: Not all positive receptions are actually good.

Frame Five Page Six

Scene Description: Out in the swamp, Captain Sprocket pops out of the ground. He is drenched in swamp water.

Top Text Box: Back out in the swamp.

Blurb (Captain Sprocket): That took forever. Being caught in a dark, water-filled tube of my own making did not help my sense of direction any. If I had any sense of direction.

Frame Six Page Six

 Scene Description: A soaking wet Captain Sprocket talking as Sir Good comes through the reeds.

Blurb (Captain Sprocket) That was scary. And dark and wet. For a normal man, that might have been fatal. For me, it is merely a cause for pause. 

 Page Seven Art Note: Sir Good and Captain Sprocket start fighting here. Sir Good is swinging his Rod (an odd looking pole arm) and Captain Sprocket is dodging.

Frame One Page Seven

Scene Description: Sir Good springing on Captain Sprocket

Blurb (Sir Good) Halt your pausing, you malingering malcontent!

Blurb (Captain Sprocket) Got any spare dry tights on you? 

Frame Two Page Seven

Scene Description: Captain Sprocket ducking as Sir Good swings rod at his head

Blurb (Sir Good) I’ll spare neither you nor your tights, monster!

Blurb (Captain Sprocket) Monster, me? I’m a Captain Sprocket. The best kind of Captain Sprocket I know how to be!

Frame Three Page Seven

Scene Description: Captain Sprocket jumping to dodge Sir Good’s rod, which is being swung low

Blurb (Sir Good) I’m not questioning your self-esteem, thing of evil!

Blurb (Captain Sprocket) You haven’t asked a question yet! Are you an authority figure or just a roving mad man? 

Frame Four Page Seven

Scene Description: Sir Good reeling back to swing. Captain Sprocket walking on his (own) hands.  

Blurb (Sir Good) You were in the swamp. I have deduced that you came from the thing which burned the town down.

Blurb (Captain Sprocket) So you beat on the first stranger you find? That’s not deduction, that’s prejudice!

 

Frame Five Page Seven

Scene Description: Captain Sprocket lifting an arm to dodge one of Sir Good’s low swings.

Blurb (Sir Good) Am I wrong?

Blurb (Captain Sprocket) I didn’t say that. My insurance policy forbids the making of statements accepting liability for accidents.

Frame Six Page Seven

Scene Description: Captain Sprocket cartwheeling away from another Sir Good swing.

Blurb (Sir Good) So you admit it!

Blurb (Captain Sprocket) That’s the opposite of what I said. But I can say that I am sorry. 

Frame One Page Eight

Scene Description: Sir Good smashing rod across Captain Sprocket’s chest. The rod breaks in half.

Blurb (Sir Good) Freeze while I smite you with my Rod of Dismissal!

Blurb (Captain Sprocket) Typical response. Not the forgiving type, I see. 

Frame Two Page Eight

Scene Description: The frame has filled with smoke behind  Sir Good and Captain Sprocket, who are running away in the same direction. . The broken rod is on the ground.

Blurb (Sir Good) Ak! The rod has broken, thus releasing the fearsome swamp monster!

Blurb (Captain Sprocket) Why were you using a container as a weapon?

Art Note: Frames three and four could be combined to show the monster chasing Captain Sprocket and Sir Good. That would allow for details showing that they are heading in the direction back to town. The monster should look like a giant lobster with a squid’s head. The monster has eyeballs at the ends of its tentacles and a vast, fanged maw in the center of its head. If these two frames are combined, delete Frame Four and add its text box to Frame Five. 

Frame Three Page Eight

Scene Description: Captain Sprocket and Sir Good running away from the monster.

Blurb (Sir Good) I didn’t think the rod was going to break.

Blurb (Captain Sprocket) Good job, Operator Error!

Frame Four Page Eight

Scene Description: Interior of the Wizard’s tower. Super Duck is in a pot on the oven. Mindless Minion A is cutting an onion nearby.

Top Text Box: In the kitchen of the Wizard’s tower.

Blurb (Super Duck) I got a new job. It’s an entree level position in the food service industry.  

Blurb (Super Duck—to Minion A)) Enough with the onions, already!

Frame Five Page Eight

Scene Description: Wizard enters scene. Duck is in pot. Minion is nearby, cutting an onion.

Blurb (Wizard) What have we here?

Blurb (Super Duck) Sort of an eco-friendly form of Capital Punishment. (Or joke from Frame Four)

Frame Six Page Eight

Scene Description: Wizard and Minion talking to Super Duck who is in a pot on the oven.

Blurb (Wizard—to Minion A) We’re not really cooking a magic duck, are we?

Blurb (Super Duck) Too many onions in here for it to be a sauna.

Frame One Page Nine

Scene Description: Wizard and Minion talking to Super Duck who is in a pot on the oven.

Blurb (Mindless Minion A) He didn’t say he was a magic duck.

Blurb (Wizard) Did you ask?

Blurb (Super Duck) I am not Magic Duck. I am Super Duck. Two words. No hyphen.

(Delete Wizard’s comment if composition gets crowded.)

 Frame Two Page Nine

Scene Description: Wizard and Minion talking to Super Duck who is in a pot on the oven.

                          

Blurb (Wizard—to Super Duck) What makes you so super, duck?

Blurb (Super Duck) I talk.

Blurb (Minion A) That’s annoying! Who wants food that talks back?

Frame Three Page Nine

Scene Description: Wizard and Minion talking to Super Duck who is in a pot on the oven.

Blurb (Minion A) It’s this or the onion soup.

Blurb (Super Duck—to Minion A) It’s pretty much onion soup, either way. Who taught you how to cook? 

Frame Four Page Nine

Scene Description: Wizard and Minion talking to Super Duck who is in a pot on the oven.

Blurb (Minion—to Super Duck) Did I miss a step?

Blurb (Super Duck): You normally eat feathers? Then there’s the whole cleaning the bird process, which is obviously a mystery to you.

Frame Five Page Nine

Scene Description: Wizard and Minion talking to Super Duck who is in a pot on the oven.

Blurb (Wizard—to Minion) Aren’t we invading somewhere?

Blurb (Minion—to Wizard) And miss lunch?

Blurb (Wizard) Oh, heavens no!

Blurb (Super Duck) I refuse to be the subject of such a bland onion soup. I demand croutons!

(Scene works best if Jughead is the wizard. If not, you could delete the Wizard and Minion’s blurbs)

Frame Six Page Nine

Scene Description: Wizard and Minion talking to Super Duck who is in a pot on the oven.

Blurb (Wizard—to Super Duck) Do you lay golden eggs?

Blurb (Super Duck) I’m wearing lederhosen. And I had a hat. Wrong kind of duck!

Frame One Page Ten

Scene Description: Wizard and Minion talking to Super Duck who is in a pot on the oven.

Blurb (Wizard—to Super Duck) Can you grant me a wish?

Blurb (Super Duck—to Wizard) You have to be careful about how you word wishes.*

Bottom Text Block: *Note: Super Duck never said that he could grant wishes. Not that this excuses it, but they never did show up with any croutons. 

Frame Two Page Ten

Scene Description: Sir Good racing in the direction of the town’s closed gate door. Captain Sprocket is a few dozens of feet behind him down a winding road through the swamp.

Blurb (Sir Good) It’s coming! It’s coming! Open up!

Frame Three Page Ten

Scene Description: Witch and a guard standing by the town gate which has been opened. Sir Good has run through

Blurb (Sir Good) It’s coming!

Blurb (Witch—to Guard) Why did you open the gate?

Blurb (Guard—to Witch) Because I am the doorman. It’s what I do.

Blurb (Witch—to Guard) Why did I make you the doorman?  

Frame Four Page Ten

Scene Description: Gate starting to lower as Captain Sprocket runs through.

Blurb (Guard—yelling up) My bad. Close it, please.

Blurb (Witch—to Captain Sprocket) Who are you?

Blurb (Captain Sprocket) I was following the other guy.

Frame Five Page Ten

Scene Description: Witch with a hold of Captain Sprocket’s cape. Gate has closed behind her.

Blurb (Witch) Are you the thing that burned our town down?

Blurb (Captain Sprocket) My insurance company won’t let me admit that.

Blurb (from gate’s other side) Open up! Now!

Frame Six Page Ten

Scene Description: Gate now open. Wizard, Super Duck and entourage are outside facing the witch.

Blurb (Witch) This had better be about my cosmetics order.

Blurb (Wizard) Witch, I’m giving you one last chance to surrender leadership of this town to me. 

Frame One Page Eleven

Scene Description: Gate now open. Wizard, Super Duck and entourage are outside facing the witch.

Blurb (Witch) You want it now? Strange timing.

Blurb (Wizard) Let her have it, Duck!

Blurb (Minion B) I think we did bring her order.

Frame Two Page Eleven

Scene Description: Gate now open. Wizard, Super Duck and entourage are outside facing the witch. Super Duck in front of witch, gesturing mystically.

Blurb (Super Duck) No offense intended and all other things being the same and without unforeseen negative consequences, the wizard wishes to be king of everything everywhere in perpetuity starting now. Presto!

Frame Three Page Eleven

Scene Description: others standing around as Minion gives witch a sack and another Minion counts money

Blurb (Minion B) The orchid shower gel is a freebie.

Blurb (Witch) Wow. Thanks!

Frame Four Page Eleven

Scene Description: Wizard glowering at Super Duck as others look on without reaction. Captain Sprocket comes onto scene.

Blurb (Super Duck) Guess the wish didn’t work.

Blurb (Wizard) You’re lunch, duck!

Frame Five Page Eleven

Scene Description: Super Duck and Captain Sprocket yelling at each other as the others look on.

Blurb (Captain Sprocket) I wouldn’t eat this duck. You don’t know where he’s been. He’s not hygienic.

Blurb (Super Duck) Yeah! When’s the last time you cleaned those tights? 

Frame Six Page Eleven

Scene Description; Wizard pointing his wand at the witch as Super Duck and Captain Sprocket are fighting.

Blurb (Wizard—to witch) I fear I have no choice but to use my wand of return on you, witch.

Blurb (Witch) I was born in this town. About fifty feet from where we are now. The wand won’t return me anywhere. 

Frame One Page Twelve

Scene Description: Witch having snatched the wand from the wizard’s hand.

Blurb (Witch) Give me that, you fool! It doesn't  take a rocket scientist to figure out what is out of place here and who needs to be sent packing where!

Frame Two Page Twelve

Scene Description: Captain Sprocket and Super Duck now in the middle of a typical street on Earth.

Blurb (Captain Sprocket) Eek! We’re back on Earth!

Blurb (Super Duck) And without our gazillion dollar ship or gold from the Lost Space City*

Bottom Text Box: *Which will not make the investors happy at all.

Frame Three Page Twelve

Scene Description: Witch talking to the monster. Witch is in the wall’s gate house and monster is just outside of town

                            

Top Text Box: Back on the other planet.

Blurb (Witch) Same deal as last time. You get all of the food scraps at the dump. Plus I will throw in a goat for your trouble.

Blurb (Monster) Four goats.

Frame Four Page Twelve

Scene Description: Witch on gate talking to monster. Wizard is on street inside town, sweeping up. Sir Good is in chains, being escorted away by guards.

Blurb (Witch) Two goats.

Blurb (Monster) Deal.

Frame Five Page Twelve

Scene Description: Captain Sprocket wearing a trench coat and hat. He is sitting on a bench. On his lap top is a headline ‘SPACE GOLD CITY SWINDLERS SOUGHT’ with mug shots of him and Super Duck on the page

Top Text Box: Days later, on Earth

Frame Six Page Twelve

Scene Description: Long shot of previous scene. They are in a park. Captain Sprocket has packed up his laptop and is slinking away. Super Duck is swimming like a duck with other normal ducks in a pond. An angry investor (Mister Lodge) is shouting at Super Duck from shore.

Blurb (Angry Investor) Say, didn’t I invest a lot of money with you?

Blurb (Super Duck) Quack! Quack!*

Below Text Box: *That’s duck for “Why are you talking to me? I am a duck.”

End of Story

I'm not sure if this is the final version. I personally recall it being a lot more funny. I think I punched it up a bit, but you get the drift. In my own defense, this was intended for their Archie Grows Up magazine, which I think has a slightly older audience. Obviously, by publishing it here, I am sticking up the white flag. That they didn't get back to me in any way, shape or form still ticks me off. I know they got it. Even an email reject would have been nice. Its appearance here constitutes the entirety of my revenge for not sending me back an envelope that I paid the postage on. 

In any case, this is what happens when you write a script that is too specific for a market. Sure, I could re-write it, invent other toons and spec it out again--but I'm not going to. (There is also a chance that the reject got lost in the mail.)  I've submitted to dozens of publications, been published or rejected as chance permits. I do understand the process. I thought the thing was a goer. I guess I was wrong. 

Just to make this clear: Super Duck and Captain Sprocket are owned by Archie Comics. File this under fan fiction or pissed off writer venting. I'll go peddle my papers somewhere else.