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Monday, March 9, 2015

Joel Osteen Says Lose The Losers In Your Life


Joel Osteen is a television preacher with a fairly mainstream pitch.  A prototypical Pastor Nice Guy, he is amongst the most popular of the current practitioners.   On the surface very little of what he does or professes would seem in any way objectionable. In fact, being non offensive and photogenic is his entire gig.

And it’s a heck of a gig.  By conservative estimates Osteen is a millionaire thirty five times over.  He preaches and broadcasts out of a former indoor stadium in Texas.  Many of his books sit atop the New York Times Best Seller list.

He’s something of a small industry. Osteen’s just started, but he’s well on his way to authoring a library on every self help motivational topic. The church he leads averages 38,000 weekly attendees. (How many of that number are actually church members or what membership in his church might be is not publicized.) He has his own  feed on satellite radio. His wife and brother are also in on the act. At its core, however, the operation is a fairly typical TV ministry.  Television is the focus and the organization buys time in every major media market in the United States, plus markets in an additional 100 countries.

Osteen does his share of barnstorming, but he stays fairly close to the mega church in Houston. He seems to crank out about 24 broadcasts for syndication per year, with each broadcast receiving several airings. Osteen is big on using reruns and for this reason few of his sermons light on topical subjects.

Osteen is standing on some broad shoulders, is the product of a progression advents in mainstream Evangelical evolution. Osteen himself doesn’t claim to be self made. There is more to Osteen than meets the eye, only some of which he’s willing to admit to.

Mostly Osteen is the beneficiary of reduced expectations on the part of his audience.  There was a time when a preacher being worth tens of millions of dollars might seem untoward. Nor is there any real equivalence to his remuneration.  The head of the Episcopal Church of Houston, with maybe the same amount of attendees (if not more) does not net tens of millions of dollars per year. Nor would someone leading a business of the same size in the private sector rake in the sort of wads Joel does. Only the tax dodge laden world of proprietary religion offers these sort of rewards. And Osteen is near the king of the hill.

But why pick nits? There are plenty of people making it rich in proprietary religion. No one stuck a gun to anyone’s head and made them give Joel money. And Joel doesn’t seem to beg for money on TV, as many of his peers do. Just because Catholic priests and others with similar sized congregations seem content to live middle class doesn’t mean Joel has to. That people are willing to accept this is dismal and astonishing. If one is willing to dismiss this as in any way acceptable, then the rest of Osteen’s act goes over fairly well.*

For a theological leader, Joel is a little light on the theology. Much of the charismatic bent to his church’s teaching were jettisoned with his father’s passing. Joel’s father John was a bit of a faith healer Catholic hater in the true southern mold. All of that is missing from the church Joel has crafted. You only see vestiges of it here and there.

As with publishers, we track churches by their roots. Osteen’s church is essentially a split off from the Oral Roberts organization. Both Joel and his father received their training at Roberts’ institution. John Osteen split from Oral Roberts and later the Southern Baptists before founding the church Joel currently leads. For some reason churches in this mold shun the use of crosses. (Anti-Catholic bigotry.) Like Herbert W. Armstrong’s Worldwide Church of God, Joel uses the globe as his trademark.

The similarities to the Armstrong movement largely end there. ** John Osteen had a cult bent, using classic moves such as founding his own fake college.  Joel Osteen, by contrast, has shed most of the cult trappings. Joel’s more about unabashedly making a buck than he is about founding his own theology.

Joel Osteen is a collage artist, sticking cropped and cribbed bits of pop psychology and motivational theory  onto Robert Shuller’s act. Shuller was the original happy talk pastor, the founder of a now dissolved TV ministry he started in a drive through movie theater. Shuller’s operational paradigm was that he was trolling for the most common of sinners, the truly un-churched. To reach this market, Shuller crafted a non judgmental message: God loves everyone unconditionally.  Beyond that, Shuller was essentially a neo-Catholic. Once his happy talk got the sinner in the door, Shuller’s approach was to inspire the sinner to better things rather than to reprove sin itself. ***

Osteen obviously sees the appeal of Shuller’s approach, although Osteen’s market is quite different.

Blessed are those who strive for upward mobility.

They’re called Strivers. These people are the target of every cult out there. We used to call these people Working Class, by which is meant the working poor or the lower middle class. Not poor enough for food stamps. Not rich enough to drive a new car. It’s not a broad section of humanity, but it is where the shelf space is, cult wise.

There are two proven approaches to addressing this audience. (1) Tell them achievement in this world doesn’t count for anything. (Which would be biblical.) The cult move here is to sell them on some substitute for worldly achievement: access to a heaven denied to others, rulership or a special position in the coming new order or some other fantasy. (2) Tell them you can make them rich. Or that God will solve their problems.

Joel Osteen is a firm proponent of the second Magic Jesus approach. Given that this is tact is not supported by much in the Bible, Joel and his fellows often stray. In a recent televised sermon Osteen flat out told his audience to “Leave the losers in your life behind.” By this he meant people whose presence won’t help get you to where you happen to want to go in life. While this might be fine self help or even anti-addiction pap, it goes against what Jesus teaches. If possible it is opposite to every single one of the teachings of Jesus.

Unless every copy of the Bible I have encountered in my life has been rigged or I am a hopeless retard, helping the losers is a mandate, how one expresses one’s love of the Savior. Of particular import are the losers most close.

I’m no real Bible guy here, but Osteen’s little self help crib job made me blink. What sort of man of God is this? And he did go on and on about it, blithely unaware that he was contradicting a core standard of Christian ethos.

On the other hand, maybe the losers never cross his mind when he heads home each night to his twelve million dollar mansion.

(*) Jesus didn’t leave much in the way of instructions on how churches were to be run or who could serve as priests in the new covenant order. So I suppose anything might be fair game. On the other hand, He had some nasty things to say about the prospects of the rich achieving salvation.

(**) There are some allusions to Garner Ted Armstrong and Joel Osteen which could be drawn. Both inherited television ministries and expanded them. Both are pretty boys. Osteen actually made more radical changes to his church than Garner Ted did to the Worldwide Church of God.  In my view Garner Ted Armstrong is the more talented, but also much more sinister. Osteen has actually cut his wife into the act, almost to a co-equal degree.

(***) Shuller’s approach may have been his own, but his theology was not. He was speaking on behalf of a denomination with a distinctly non judgmental bent.

Note: I did not flat out call Osteen a cult leader. He’s just a simple huckster, albeit phenomenally successful. Cult leaders are a bit more domineering. He hasn’t set up his organization to spread from coast to coast. Although I am sure he sells special access to people willing to foot his bills (he and the wife thank these folks at the ends of their broadcasts) he seems hardly out to create a denomination. That said, on his web page Joel Osteen helpfully lists local churches which he approves of. Almost all of these are non affiliated churches led (or co-equally led) by husband and wife teams. (Much like his own church.) At least one of these churches, the Chicago northwest suburban Life Changers, is a flat out cult. So I am leery of him. I have also seen roadside posters for his TV program, stuck in lawns mattress sale style, in my neighborhood. This indicates that he has some street organization.

(By the way, having a bunch of affiliated churches is a great way to keep your books on the best seller list. Especially if each church is assigned a quota of books they need to buy each month—from a retail store. Ask L. Ron Hubbard.)

Full disclosure: I really dislike evangelicals. I will make it a point to say something nice about them in a future posting. They are historically and culturally significant and have had a largely positive impact on society.

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