Can we fast-forward to the part where Trump dies in prison? This
maudlin Punch and Judy show has gone on long enough. It has now become clear that our President is
on intimate terms with more wacky Muppets than Oscar the Grouch is.
Other than perhaps ending all life as we know it BECAUSE HE CAN,
the risks of the Trump presidency seem to be on the downside. At this moment
the only real risk Trump poses to the future is that his tactics may be taken
up by another politician, that Trumpism and Trump-Like figures could become a
mainstay of the American political environment.
The odds are against it. Nixonism, Clintonism, Hooverism never
took off, never became a going thing. Reaganism, Jacksonian and Kennedy-esque
did. (There was also a craze involving Teddy Roosevelt which even Teddy
Roosevelt himself could not successfully harness.) What does and does not stick
has more to do with a memorable style than anything else. Like it or not, Trump
does have a distinct and memorable style.
Sadly, HATE as a political philosophy will always be with us. This
whole gloomy gob of right-wing puss is always looking for a stylish wrapper for
its cartoonish slogan “Our problems are all the faults of others.” Adding
Mexicans to the mix (thank you Victor Davis Hanson), is Trump’s only recipe
augmentation. Evil exists and it will manifest itself anew to meet the times.
The good news is that most of this stuff has a shelf life. Tonight our featured
correspondent Mister Fun will give his take on bad ideas which are on the way out. In a way they are all tied to each other and,
in a way, all of them are heading out the door for the same reason. And in a way, all of these predictions are
pipe dreams and magical thinking on the part of Mister Fun himself, which leads
us to…
Disclaimer: Mister Fun’s statements, opinions, predictions,
run-on sentences, variable verb-noun tense oppositions, rare alliterations (he
promised to cut that out), philosophical pronouncements and venting of
vendettas are his and his alone and do not represent Hil-Gle Mind-Rot Quality
Creative Newsstand Fiction Unit, the Hil-Glea Wonderblog, its ownership,
operators, employees, surfs or slaves. (Not saying that Hil-Gle has surfs or
slaves, which would be an admission of guilt in certain quarters and something
that Hil-Gle, as an aspiring international conglomerate, would never do—that
is, admit or confess to anything.) Hil-Gle
is a good international citizen, obeying global mores and values as they are
found, specifically in Liberia and the Central African Republic, which Hil-Gle
may someday own outright—although this should not be construed as a forward
looking statement for prospectus purposes. Mister Fun’s words as represented
here come to him, as per terms of a one hundred year leasing agreement via
undisclosed 3rd parties in the Virgin Islands, often in unmarked
brown packages sent media mail. These words are generally found in a
hermetically sealed condition and are then removed from their packaging at
first with a set of kitchen scissors but eventually with Mister Fun’s teeth. He
spits those words and hopefully not also his teeth out for you now.
1950s Nostalgia
The Skinny: A belief
that the mid 1950s was the apex of American society, that people were far
better off in this time period than in those previous or since. It has never
been beat, in terms of music (Rock & Roll), manufacturing (1957 Chevy),
overall standard of living and position of military power.
The Draw: Like Gay
90s nostalgia, which we have covered, the 1950s had a lot of design and popular
arts firepower. It has trends in almost
everything other than architecture. In
reality, it’s not much of a break with other emergent trends—an extension of
Art Decco in design, an offshoot of Rhythm & Blues in music, a continuation
in mechanization. The unprecedented break is reverse urbanization, leading to
the mass creation of homogenized suburbia. Effectively ‘mass homogenization’ is
the buzz word for the era.
Its Flaw: Like all nostalgia, it ages out. People who
had first-hand experience of the 1950s are now climbing into their 80s. And many of them may be more nostalgic for
the 1960s. What people like about the 1950s was somewhat unequally present in
the reality of the times. If you were poor, rural or not white, much of what
was attractive about this era may have passed you by. The political paranoia and mass conformity of
the era were also not a boon to many.
Fascism/Populism/Nationalism:
The Skinny: All of these are various aspects of tribalism or
localism and, in an increasingly more interactive and interwoven world, have no
real place in the future. All of them
tout “A WAY” as a specific ideal end state. Proponents discount or denigrate
impediments to reaching that end and squelch debate as to its worthiness. It’s
a big version of “I’m right. You’re wrong. Move on.”
The Draw: It would be nice to have a few simple solutions to
our many problems. Almost all religions uphold the same ideals. There does seem to be an agreed on set of
moral values, virtues, goals. Certainly there is a good and agreed on method.
All of these are methods which feel best, which seem like the ways in which we
conduct ourselves within our families. It’s time to dispense with the red tape
and do what’s right!
Its Flaw: Too numerous to mention, so we will just go with the
fatal ones. First, not all ideals are equally valued. Everyone has their own
little pyramid. In an effort to enforce a specific ordering of values, the
tribal types spend all of their capital scapegoating “the other” or pruning the
masses of deviance. Second, red tape exists for a reason. Each rule and
regulation has a mountain of human suffering as its parent. You ignore red tape
at your peril.
Communism
The
Skinny: The rich really do suck. There are no honest fortunes.
Capitalism seems to only work for the few and the connected. Surely a more
egalitarian distribution of the rewards of mechanization can be contrived to
supersede the lopsided windfalls afforded to the financial sector.
The Draw:
Egalitarian outcomes always sound good. Enforced fairness sounds good. Bankers are just government-backed rich people
toadies.
Its Flaw: There
are all of three communist regimes left in existence. To the extent that they
function, each does so to the extent that they are Capitalist. The most
successful of these, China, makes its international living by pimping out its
poor masses to foreign capitalist manufacturers. And a great big clique of
know-nothing, do nothings (whose only talent is for conformity) gleans the
cream of the worker’s labor. All in all, no real improvement over rule by the
rich. For bonus points, the ones which still exist are held together by
systemic murder. In our only example of a nuclear armed communist state
collapsing, Russia, it simply became a totalitarian regime without an ideology.
But no one can predict what happens when a nuclear armed communist state in the
midst of failure will really act. And all communist regimes have failed. And
none are successful by any measure. So sleep soundly, assured that the end of
the world is likely to be the result of a nuclear armed Chinese civil war.
Mission
Statement
The Skinny: A run
on sentence, about the length of a candy bar’s list of ingredients, which proports
to explain what a business organization’s purpose is, its product or service
and the market segment it wishes to operate profitably within. At their best,
Mission Statements were both focusing and reassuring, a long-form advertisement
in the guise of noble purpose. At their worst, they were gibberish goulash suffering
from too many chefs.
The Draw: Putting the superstructure of your business plan
front and center is a good way of informing at least your own employees what
you are out to do. The idea is to get everyone on the same page. It keeps your
mezzanine finance unit from pouncing into online sub-prime auto consumer loans.
It’s as close to commissioned poetry as the modern world provides.
Its Flaw: Once contrived, printed, framed and hung
prominently, most were never interacted with again. Almost all of them became
embarrassments over time. The fact of
the matter is that a business’s sweet spot evolves over time. Your Fast Casual
restaurant branches out into Drive Through or Fresh Sushi. None of them were
honest, otherwise they all would read “We intend to operate profitably until we
are bought out, merged or bankrupt. Whichever comes first.”
Corporate Values
The Skinny: Your business needs a religion. Why? Because many
of your employees don’t seem to have been raised right. It’s a proactive
listing of expectations, common virtues and things which will get you fired.
Add some glop about how without customers you have no business. Season to taste
and post in meeting rooms.
The Draw: This became an absolute obsession with large
corporations. The Big Cheeses suddenly all decided that they were philosopher
kings, that their positions were attained through some sort of virtuous cycle.
Lords of the meritocracy spewed forth with such nasal noises as “Commit to
Life-Long Learning” and “Always be growing.” (My own favorite was “Know your
place.”) Despite the fact that most of this stuff was rather interchangeable
and mundane, it gave the successful a platform from which to crow.
Its Flaw: Ethical lapses on the part of front-line employees
have never ruined a company. The ethical lapses that smart are launched from
the Executive Suite. Most of these value
regimes were thought up after an organization has been busted for a crime.
Given that the values almost never apply to management, value statements are
viewed as the dual track double stuffed eyewash that they are. Eventually most
of these degraded into statements about pretending your mother was watching
you.
Six
Sigma/Quality First/Accountability
The Skinny: That which gets measured, gets done. You should
provide the best product or service that you can. The end results of a process
can only be measured on a step by step basis. Improving or removing steps will
lead to a better result.
The Draw: An excellent method for sidetracking rivals for
management leadership. Created an entire
class of people who had oversight responsibility without any actionable
authority. Also allows managers the freedom to hide out in their offices
reading charts and dashboards, as if they were rocket pilots. Proposed an
entire language designed to obscure numbers and facts.
Its Flaw: I am picking on a largely dead horse here. This is a progression of the idea’s
degradation. Six Sigma was remedial scientific, with Quality First being its
overall goal. Accountability is the state of the idea now—and all it boils down
to is blame. Its major flaw was that it is NOT TRUE. Quality is not everything
and sometimes it’s not the most important thing. And sometimes quality cannot
be measured. That said, parts of the
Quality First regime are valid, to the degree that they apply. The sin is in
applying its methods to everything or making method a shrine unto itself.
Empowerment/Controllership
The Skinny: These are ideas in opposition to each other—and
yet they are often both attempted simultaneously. Empowerment in the corporate
sense is a dust off of the old Management By Objectives. You hire good people, tell them what you
expect and then give them the freedom to proceed as they like. Controllership
is all about putting baby bumpers and training wheels on things. It’s about
assigning dollar values to someone’s authority, about restricting access and
withholding information. In
Controllership roles are narrowly defined.
The Draw: Optimally these two concepts should work together.
You’re guiding someone’s progress, establishing firm goals and boundaries. This pairing is usually not about operational
efficiency, but rather an attempt to be attractive to all of an organization’s
constituencies. Empowerment helps attract employees. Controllership attracts
customers and investors. No one really notices the contradictions.
Its Flaw: It is not functional. All that happens is that you
burn out your HR department. And its never uniform, compliance depending
entirely on the managers directly above the front line. It’s too much to do and
too much effort to make sense of. Every single moment spent mounting screen
shots into an SOP is a moment hopelessly wasted.
Rock & Roll:
The Skinny: A splicing of up-tempo Rhythm & Blues and
Country Western music forms. Rose in opposition to Champagne Music, a
degradation of the Big Band Jazz form. Featured drums, bases, guitar and often
a piano. Thrived through a number of periods of musical electrification, which
it embraced in all of its nuances. Spawned numerous subgenres all slated at a
tween to young adult market. The majority popular musical form in the developed
world for several decades.
The Draw: Spoke to the emotional state of young people.
Embraced its times.
Its Flaw: Its designed demographic lost much of its market
power. Was more dependent on a “Music Industry” for creating interest in new
acts than other forms. No new act in this genre has caught on in more than a
decade. Largely supplanted by electronica, hip hop. Survives in nostalgia mode.
Mindfulness
The Skinny: Live in the moment and contemplate the moment as
the moment is here. Remain at an even keel. Represent memory as a resource and
not a confinement. Seek the best results for all.
The Draw: Treats stress. Legal. No known withdrawal symptoms.
Its Flaw: It’s Yoga without yoga. Yoga itself is Buddhism minus theology.
Mindfulness is Yoga plus something else other than Buddhism which is
indistinguishable from Buddhism. There’s nothing wrong with Zen Buddhism. I’m a
freaking ZEN MASTER myself. But it has its limits. At the retail level,
Mindfulness is Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Repair as a group study. In the
let’s meet after class at the Mat Master’s personal dojo version, it’s that
religion which is like Judaism that the Yoga Mat people have been attempting to
push as a sideline for the past decade or so, only under a new name. I’m not
sure that’s what the Yoga Mat Ladies are really up for. If you need something
more from Yoga—let us say an actual religion with a worked out cosmology and
whatnot—may I suggest something less alien, perplexing and malleable, like
Catholicism or its evil twins Lutheranism, Methodism and Church of England.
Your chances of being molested or taken are far less with these than with some
bearded nonsense speaker who shares storefront space with a potter.
Culture Wars
The Skinny: Satanists in the popular guise of secular humanism
(so called humanitarians) are out to drive God (in the specific form of the
Trinity, but with a carve out for Jews and a weird exclusion for Islam) from
the public square and replace the attendant values and structures (primarily
the father led nuclear heterosexual family unit) of such with idolatry for
homosexual socialist ape people. Actually an outgrowth of invective against
Secular Humanism which all Christian churches have been promoting for decades,
with an appended extremist superstructure.
The Draw: The advantage here is primarily to the political
class, of a specific financial elitist stripe.
The Evangelical movement is inherent to the United States, achieving a
majority of religious affiliates in suburban, ex urban and rural areas. As a
whole, persons of this religious affiliation are a majority in the United
States. But they are not a set sect, denomination or organization. Most are mom
and pop single church affairs, with a few Mega Church denominations in the low
tens of thousands. What little commonality these churches had was that they
were largely apolitical, many advancing a “come out of the world” approach to
current concerns. Like all Christian churches of the time, most touted the
invective against Secular Humanism. Seeking additional voters to tap into, the
wealthy water carrier Republican Party politically aligned with this amorphous
crusade and its various permutations.
Its Flaw: Several, however we will stick to the fatal
ones. The fight against Secular Humanism
is illogically extrapolated from Christ’s teachings against materialism and
hedonism, comfort and worldly goods. Humanitarian ethos and Christian ethos are
identical, one having heavily inspired and influenced the other. The
humanitarian ethic is the Be Attitudes reworded, making this a distinction
without a difference. As initially construed, Secular Humanism was the churchman’s
cudgel for use against psychology—not science, not ration and not modernity in
general. Most priests now embrace and even practice psychology today. The
extrapolated fights against foreign philosophy, abortion, birth control,
woman’s equality and liberalism writ large have not been winners, either for
the Republican Party or the churches. Moreover it has enabled literalists,
bigots and classical iconoclasts. The
modern Evangelical Movement is repellant, losing more voters than it attracts.
Thanks to its ascendance we are approaching a non-religious majority in the
United States. Good work, guys!
It is
what it is
The
Skinny: Learned helplessness as a imposed condition. The speaker
would like to cut off debate or restrict resources. The net cause of the
problem is not to be addressed—or not to be addressed here or by you. Let us
surrender to the inevitable and get on with the work around.
The Draw: Not
everything is open for freaking debate.
Very few business decisions recquire ratification by consensus
approval. Some people, especially the
dickless, go on and on about crap that either can’t be undone or happened in
the distant past. Uttering words are always better than resorting to force and
“It is what it is” is a fairly neutral way of acknowledging bad news and
setting another direction.
The Flaw: Although
the construction does follow the rules found in my HOW TO ACHIEVE GREAT BIG HUGE OPULENCE (found on the HIL-GLE
website), the statement suffers from overuse by the overly smug. A few moments of explanation as to why you
have eliminated, curtailed, postponed, reversed or bypassed something important
are usually in order, even if you are the Old Testament God. Unless fixing the
underlying problem does indeed involve the use of a Time Machine, then the
expression of this phrase should be avoided.
Flat
Organization
The Skinny:
Something of an outgrowth of Six Sigma, this is an organizational structure
which functions without what was once called Middle Management. The structure has limited enterprise-wide
departments and functions largely without secretaries. Most flat organizations
are centered around specific customers or specific deliverables (products or
services). Most operational managers will also have a production oriented role.
For example, a factory’s production manager—the person above all of the people
working making stuff in the factory—will split this responsibility with a role providing
production forecasts.
The Draw: In any
downturn, the first employees to be shed in the corporate structure are the
Middle Managers, role administrators and purchasing agents. Why operate with
them in the first place?
The Flaw: Several. We will focus on the killer two. Human
nature has not changed. For every five employees you need a designated
shepherd. For every ten employees you need a sheriff. These numbers can be multiplied by 2 to 10
depending on how similar the employee’s roles are. If you have 10 people in a department, all of
whom have distinct roles, you need two people who are familiar with all of the
roles and one person who can be called on to wield necessary authority. This
arithmetic came to us from the Romans—and they probably stole the idea. Violate
this math and you are NOT MANAGING. Most flat organizations are controlled by
their HR Departments, and not well. As a Six Sigma augmentation, many
organizations routinely fire their bottom 10% performers every year. This seldom translates into any type of
reality, since most flat organizations cannot retain employees in front line
roles.
Flat organizations discourage the type of
people you want to retain. A well motivated employee gives something extra to
his/her work. For these people work is “their thing”, their primary interest, a
part of their identity. While it is
wonderful to have people who just show up, do what their told and then pick up
checks, any enterprise of note is driven by careerists. Without these people
you go nowhere. Such people require encouragement, tokens denoting worth. Flat
organizations limit the number of tokens that can be awarded, often causing the
careerist to seek another pool to swim in. In point of fact, most flat
organizations will inflate over time, creating distinction in roles and
manufacturing jobs simply to keep good workers. But the orthodoxy drives a lot
of good people away unnecessarily.
Proactive
The Skinny: Preemptive action generally designed to accomplish
a task well ahead of deadline or to ready a contingency strategy in case of a
failure in planning or to cut off the cowboys at the pass before they can get
to Dodge City and rob the bank. Being engaged in a far-sighted and hyperactive
sort of way. Not just prepared, but permanently coiled and ready to strike in
any direction at a moment’s notice.
The Draw: Proactive is the fairy dust sprinkled on hedging and
options and credit default swaps and other financial instruments. Outside of
finance it means you’re really smart and you read up on things and can swoop in
whenever your big data finds you a nice juicy fat worm to eat. It also means
that you have disaster plans. You are telemetry god!
Its Flaw: The hell you are.
Man plans, God laughs. The more you stock up on fire extinguishers, the
greater your likelihood is of being hit with a flood. This may come as a shock
to some, but PSYCHIC POWERS DO NOT EXIST.
Also risk mitigation is profit suppression. Being prepared to navigate
around reasonable and known hazards is not a particularly rare talent/skill
set. Claiming that you are able to do more than that is horse crap.
Meritocracy
The Skinny: This is the Divine Right of Kings in new
clothes. The rich, the powerful, the
successful and the beautiful would like to inform you that they are equal parts
worthy. Achievement within the system is
part of an unbiased set of rational measures. We are better than you by a true
yardstick. None of us got here by blowing or knowing anyone. We have obtained
our status fairly and are the products of an organization capable of exact
measurement. Know your place and lick my booties.
The Draw: Fun to say. One of those aspirational ideal ideals.
For those in power, a justification for all sorts of unfairness. Related to the
once fashionable “It’s like high school with money.”
Its Flaw: To put it mildly, it is an overestimation. It denotes an organization which has entirely
overestimated itself and is likely to be dismissive of outside ideas. Many organizations are run by cliques of like-minded
people and function perfectly well. But
once you’ve determined that you’re perfect, you’re done.
Coming Soon!
Hi there i am kavin, its my first occasion to commenting anyplace, when i read this post i thought i
ReplyDeletecould also create comment due to this sensible piece of
writing.